Month: June 2011

Some more love

We were out on a walk in the evening. Roses growing wild on the trail had me smiling happily as I took in the color and the fragrance. With shining eyes I looked at D and asked him:

These roses look so beautiful don’t they?

D did a double take. Looked closely and said:

These are not roses. Stop kidding me.

I am not kidding. These are roses.

Since when did rose bushes grow so tall and roses look like this?

I stopped at the next bush, with great care held one rose, pulled the branch towards me and took in a deep breath. Asked D to do the same after I was done. He looked up with a smile and said:

Can’t argue with that one. But you know what, next time for our anniversary or your birthday I will pick up roses from here rather than going to the store.

Oh why a few roses, you can get the entire rose bush for me now.

Sigh! so much for love and all that goes with it. 😐

PS: He has given me any kind of flowers only once in all the years we have known each other. So no I don’t even expect free flowers from him.

Too much love

Sunday morning blissful sleep is interrupted by little fingers tugging to climb up on the bed. Little person is followed by a little blanket. Which is followed by squeezing between the two big people and non-stop moving till the perfect sleep position is found. What is the ideal sleep position you ask? It is the precise position on Paa’s arm, were the biceps bulge. Once the perfect position is attained, fuss is made to get the blanket on. And yes, only our very own little blanket will do. All settled it is time for everyone to relax and get back to the sleeping part of the program.

Little changes to the above scenario happen from week to week. How different you ask? Add to the scene above:

Since Paa’s hand is stretched and he opens his eyes long enough to see Maa’s hair over her face, he moves his fingers to get them off her face. Once done he starts playing with her hair. And everyone go to sleep just like that.

Are you going ‘awww’ yet? Such a love filled family picture.

Right! Picture abhi baaki hei mere dost:

Smack comes a sound and 3 pair of eyes open up in bewilderment at the sudden noise. One more bewildered than the others but of course. Accused look thrown and the story stumbles out.

Someone was troubling you and I got in to a fight to protect you. I gave him one.

Yeah, yeah Maa knows all about the ‘giving him one’ part. After all she took the blunt of the dream and the aftereffects. So much for ‘To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do us part’.


*song playing in the background ‘Dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye’*


As we step out of the house every morning, she smells of:

– Her berry toothpaste
– Our moisturizing lotion (hers is odorless)
– Her Paa’s aftershave
– Her Maa’s deodorant spray

And Maa can’t stop holding her tight and sniffing around.

A flash of memory

I sat entertaining Buzz while D went to pick up food at this small Indian eat out place. I caught something from the corner of my eye which has me turning my head in a rush of smile. The words ‘Nani’ came to my lips before I saw the head turn a little. Words left unsaid as I looked on. Not Nani. No this was not Nani. How could it be her after all?

I sat and stared. The same body type, the same wrinkled hands, the same white hair tied up in a messy knot, the same way of draping the dupatta on the head, the same lines on the face. She sat with her back to me and I just wanted to get up and hug her.

It has been way too long since I last hugged you Nani and felt you engulf me in your warmth. It has been too long Nani since I saw the smile on your face and the light in your eyes. It has been way too long.

For the 10 mins we sat next to each other, I lived in the illusion that this was Nani. That she would turn any minute, smile and call out ‘Chuhiya’. For the same insane reason, I did not want her to turn because that would shatter this beautiful dream I was building.

We sat and ate. My eyes returning to her ever so often. I could not form the words and tell D what I was going through. All I did was look on. Saw her family come up to her. Saw her pick her little granddaughter and kiss her. Saw her care in her every action. All the time the lump in my throat grew bigger and bigger.

Do you know Nani how much I have been missing you lately? Do you know how much I think of you these days with everything that is going on? Do you know how much I wish I could run and hide in your lap?

I glanced at her, one last time, as we got up and left. She stayed unaware of me and my scrutiny the entire time, but now almost a day later I wish I had the guts to go up to her and touch her feet  before I left. I know she was not my Nani. But she gave me that one flash of memory that I never thought I would ever see again. And for that moment when she was Nani to me, I wish I could get her blessings. I wish she could tell me things will be all right.

The problem with..

..wearing clothes with extra stretch for days at end is that you get so comfortable that you eat whatever you can lay your hands on. Then you stand on the weighing machine one fine day and can only look on with disbelief.

..praying for the sun to show its face constantly is that it comes out of the cloud cover on a weekday when the only thing you can do is look out the window and sigh, knowing fully well that the weekend will be back to the usual grey. in and letting a little someone to sleep with you early morning one day is that you have to walk her back to her room 2-3 times at night as she drags her blanket along for days at end.

..agreeing to work over the weekend is that some people don’t know when to back off and let you have some time to actually have some kind of a break.

..being stressed is that the frustration comes out on everyone but the one person you are upset with.

..taking a week’s break from the regular workout schedule, no matter what the reason, is that it is very difficult to get back on track.

..filling out your review once a year is that you are rusty at your creative writing skills and they take a while to brush up.

..not talking to your ex-officemate for a real long time is that you don’t get to hear gems like, ‘binna baat ke kyoin tension le rahi hei? Kitna farak padega? 1%?’*

*Why are you stressed for no reason? How much difference will it make? 1%

Wheels on the bus

..go round and round

Buzz wants me to sing it over and over again. After I am done with every verse I stop and she tell me the part to sing next.

Me: ..all around the town.
Buzz: Driver.
Me: Driver on the bus..all around the town.
Buzz: Horn.
Me: Horn on the bus..all around the town.
Buzz: How about daddy?
Me: <ignores her> Doors on the bus..all around the town.
Buzz: <she barely waits for the ‘town’ to finish before she chimes in> How about daddy?
Me: Baby on the bus..all around the town.
Buzz: How about DADDY?
Me: Mommy on the bus..all around the town.
Me: Daddy on the bus goes <and I pause>
Buzz: I lub oo <with a huge smile on her face>

Runs to where D is and gives him a hug..

I lub oo Papa.

Paa promptly melts in a puddle. Oh! that grin on his face refuses to go away.

And that my friends is why Daddy has to be the last one on the bus.

Because we got worried

..about Buzz not knowing English she decided to show off her complete vocabulary.

Look it Mumma.

As she points to anything and everything.

Where did the <fill in the blank> go?

Where the blank could be a cat, dog, horse, cow, duck, piggy, donkey, mumma, papa, nani, shoe, jacket, roti, sabi*, book.. The list is endless.

Keep it right here on the top.

Everything has to be kept ‘right here on the top’ even when pointing to the bottom most drawer of the closet.

Mumma read it.
Kya Buzz?
Read it. (pointing to the book)
Mumma padh do! (with an expression that says “Can’t you understand something this simple?”)

Which cracks me up and makes me have this conversation every single time with her.

Further proof on the grasp of the language goes like this:

– Yes has changes to Yeah.
– Yup is also heard from time to time.
– Thank You is a thing of the past to be replaced by Thanks.
– Bicycle has given way to bike.

All this while D looks on and wonders ‘Iska yeah accent kahaan se aaya?’**

**Where did she get her accent from?


Some days are long..
they go on and on.
The push and the shuffle.
and then you smile. 

Scattered thoughts overtake..
in every word anger bubbles.
Thread of control teeters..
and then you smile.

Nights sleepless stretch on..
day’s work pulls along.
Errands endless grate..
and then you smile.

One little smile to forget the worry..
one tinkle laugh to let it all go.
And I say a little prayer..
may you forever smile your little smile.