Look what Buzz got from her school library
..and it is such an adorable book. I sneak read parts of it while she was at school. Hundreds of kids who think Harry is real, who want Harry to come over their place, who are writing new spells for Harry.
Oh and from Buzz’s perspective please look at the book’s name. That is the only reason she picked it up 🙂
Buzz came back from school with an envelope, 3 pages of instructions and talked about heart, jump, donation, puppies. With a lot of things on my mind and emotionally not open to taking in everything she was talking about, I told her we would talk about it in a few days. With a long face, she walked away.
A couple of days later she came back and talked again. The school was hosting an event to support American Heart Institute and the kids were all to jump rope based on the money they collected, to educate about the importance of exercising and keeping the heart healthy. Could I donate some money, so that she could participate? Also there were different stuffed toy puppies that the kids earned based on the amount of money they collected, and she really wanted a couple of those.
I sat her down and explained that the idea behind the money raising drive was not asking parents to give the money. It was about talking to people, raising awareness about heart health and asking them for donate for the cause. Hard hearted mom that I was, I could not make things easy for her and give her money just so that she could get some stuffed toys and participate in the jumping rope activity in school. If she really wanted to do it, she had to do it all. Go talk to people and ask for money. We would donate some as well, but only if she did some work first.
She sat on the idea for a couple of days. Asked questions on how she could raise money. The grocery store, knocking door to door, the mall – ideas we came up with.
We were heading to the grocery store yesterday and she carried her envelope. She said her ‘excuse mes’ as she walked up to someone. Explained what she was doing and asked her question. ‘Could you contribute may be $5?’ She thought it would be easy. With $100 her goal, she did her math and figured all she needed to do was ask 20 people and she would be done. The script of course did not work as planned. A handful of people gave her a dollar or two but mostly all she heard was ‘All the best, but sorry!” After about 30 or so tries, there were tears in her eyes, here voice heavy. I told her I was proud of her for putting herself out there and knew it was not easy to hear ‘no’, but collecting money was not easy either. I asked her to stop and we could try again later. Demoralized we came back home.
Back home as she counted her money, $11.50, D encouraged her and told her that we would match everything she collected. $23 already she finally laughed.
Today after school we went to the mall. ‘There are more people there’, she told me. As I sat with my book, she walked around and made her case. After yesterday’s experience she took nos with a lot more grace. She smiled and thanked people. She talked and made a better case. At one point she spend 10 or so minutes talking to a mom and returned with a huge smile and 65cents in her hand. She jumped with excitement with every amount that she raised. And then when she was tired, she came and said ‘Lets go home Mumma!’
Current count is $54.34. She has also made a deal with D to convert her $4.34 to $5. $55 and matched by us she comes to $110. She couldn’t be more excited. We couldn’t be more proud. She did it on her own. She learned and can say she raised the money. I learned as well and can say, always be kind to kids trying to do something like this, even when you say no for whatever your reasons might be. Kindness goes a long way and the kids remember those more that even the amount of money they get. Buzz definitely talked more about those people than anyone else.
As she takes the money in to school tomorrow, she has to deal with a new challenge. Jump rope 220 times. Wish her luck!
Dear Buzz,
For over a year now you have waited for this day. You have asked endless questions, you have watched your friends closely, you have read books about it and you have been impatient for your turn to come. Kids in your class started out with the phenomena more than a year back and that is when your questions started. Last year just before PD mama’s wedding, I joked and told you to hold on till after the wedding and you took my word for it, but the wedding happened and days and months ticked on after and nothing. You counted out your friends in class and the numbers kept dwindling till you were the only one left and that is when you started pushing.
Pushing hard on your teeth – if you could, you would get those teeth moving by sheer dint of your will. Your friends lost two, four – some even as high as twelve teeth, but the school year came to an end and you did not even have a wiggly tooth. You were so very disappointed.
Adding to it was all the visits Tooth Fairies were making to your friends’ place and your constant struggle with the question, “Are Tooth Fairies real?” You argued – all the doors and windows are locked at night; magic is not real; only birds have wings and even they can’t come in through closed windows. “How can Tooth Fairies be real?” you kept asking. But you wanted them to be real so bad, and that is where you were stuck. With your logic, you came up with simplest of solutions, “if I have a present under my pillow when my tooth falls, then they are real otherwise they are not.” How your Paa and I smiled at it all.
After quite a few complains of pain in your lower front tooth, for over a month, they finally did start to wiggle noticeably last week. The excitement level went up multiple folds in our household. The only time you talked tentatively about your teeth falling was when it came to the Tooth Fairy. Oh yes the present, I remember sweetheart, so on a recent trip to a store when I came across books, I bought two and told you I needed to hand them over to someone special. Not one more question you asked. You smiled and walked away.
Today when I came to pick you up in the evening, you smiled to show me what was missing, and then ran off to show me your precious tooth. Apparently eating cherries did the trick (along with freaking out your teachers, since they could not tell whether it was blood or cherry juice). Then the chatter moved on to the gift. Bugz, super excited at sleep time peeped, “Tooth Fairy will come today, Didi!” You smiled big and whispered in my ears, “You are the Tooth Fairy Mumma, but Bugz is so little that she does not know.”
Yes sweetheart, Bugz is little but you are growing to be so big and sometimes I miss my little girl. But but I love the big girl you are becoming. Your next big milestone is here and we are super excited for you. We also know the second tooth is going to fall any day now, so enjoy your special time which has come after such a long wait. As always, stay healthy, stay happy, stay you!
Love,
-Maa
Higher, push me higher!
She screams, trying to catch up to Didi. Didi, of course, pumps her legs to go higher still, laughing as she swings back and forth.
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Bugz, come catch me.
Off they go running. Little feet unable to catch the bigger faster ones, but laughter follows and so do shrieks of frustration.
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Biking, biking! Let’s go biking
Longer legs, bigger bike, she zooms off as soon as we get to the trail. With her little bike, sitting comfortably on her bike, training wheels still in place, the little one peddles on leisurely, laughing gleefully as she spots her Didi, every now and then.
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With the perpetual need to keep an eye on both of them, I run between the two of them – sometimes faster, sometimes slower, sometimes backwards, sometimes forward. The sun is out, the day is beautiful, the kids are happy, there are laughs, there are stops for hugs, there are endless smiles. As they go about playing, they run circles around me. Never consciously, always unsaid, mostly unacknowledged, yet I always find myself in the middle – middle of their play, middle of their fight, middle of their love – and every time, my heart swells up.
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Mumma, let me push her now. Higher and higher!
She comes and takes over, while the little one nods her head excitedly.
No Didi! I can’t catch you.
She comes back to hold hands and off they go running together.
Didi, wait for me!
Barely able to keep her balance, she rides alongside, just to keep the little sister happy.
The wedding date was set a year in advance and Buzz started making plans right then and there. For a child her age, a year is a long time coming which meant I kept telling her it would be a while. She waited and waited very patently at that but come September every day seemed never to pass. Anyone she met, it was all about the trip to India. Everyone in her school (students, teachers, parents, director of the school – everyone) knew the date we were leaving, the food she planned to eat, the clothes she hoped to wear.
“I can’t watch TV, right Mumma?” she looked at me with sad eyes as we sat down in our seats. I smiled and told her we would talk once the plane took off. So sure she was of the no TV rule that she kept saying “you will say no.” Seatbelts on, no kicking the seat in front, please don’t jump around, count to 100, listen to what the pilot is saying – I said it all to keep the two little bundles of energy in their place till we took off and then much to their delight I switched on the little TV screens in front of their seats. As I navigated, “Dora!” they screamed. Dora it was. Just before the show started, she looked at me with bright eyes and thanked me. I told her, we would take breaks, read a little, draw a little, sleep a little but she could watch shows and movies and those decisions were hers for the duration of the trip. —Delight at getting the freedom to pick her own screen time, never happened before!
“How will we go home? Do you know the way, Mumma?” she asked with concern. “Tau ji will come get us baby,” I told her. She was so uncertain, some faded memories, voices on the phone, hazy images over Skype. Would he really come? Would she like it if he came? But there he was and so was SP Didi. They opened their arms wide and she ran right in to them. The trip home was spent talking a mile a minute and endless kisses for SP Didi. Once home she walked in, looked around and remembered. With a smile, off she was to the room that was ours. Her excitement at familiar faces, familiar surroundings had us all in splits. —Joy of being engulfed in love, joy of being surrounded with family!
“We are going to see Nana,” “We love Nana,” “AK Mama is coming to get us, Yay!” “He calls me Makhhi, why?” “I can’t wait to ride the train!” Little voices kept repeating in a loop, till we got to railway station and they spotted AK Mama. She jumped in to Mama’s arms the minute the door of the car opened. Bugz, of course, had to copy which meant poor Mama had his hands full with two mini hurricanes. A week before we had left, he had send a message to me asking what I was getting for him. I had replied “2 jantu!” “You were not kidding,” he laughed at me, with the two of them hanging off of him. As we took our seats in the train, he got out two candies from his backpack and handed one to her. She looked at me, at my nod, took it, give him a hug, sat on his lap as she ate on. —Getting spoilt and how!
I was in the kitchen, trying to figure out what to make for breakfast when Mami ji rushed in. “Buzz kept looking at me as if she wanted to say something. I asked her what she wanted but she kept quite. I asked again and she very softly said ‘Parantha, paneer paranth.’ So move out of the kitchen, I have some paranthas to make.” Saying I would make them made no difference. “She asked Choti Nani so Choti Nani will make,” came the response. Mama ji who was forever busy on the phone making last minute arrangements for the wedding kept saying no when we asked him to make halwa for us. “Please Chote Nana,” she said softly. Chote Nana dropped everything was standing in the kitchen less than a minute later. “Nana, will you wake me up when you get up in the morning so that I can play with you?” and there he was every morning picking her up and playing with her. “Can we go to the park?” they would ask and there were at least 4 people ready to take them. —Everyone dancing to every demand big or small!
Shopping for wedding clothes was the hardest thing SIL and I did. The sheer amount of bling that was in the stores almost blinded us. The shift in fashion and how different it was from what we were looking for – for the kids, for ourselves made us despair. The idea of going shop to shop with four kids in tow had us worried but the kids figured out a game in no time. All the bling on the sarees, suits, lehngas are glued on and not stitched on which meant they fell off really easy and there was loads on the floor. ‘Jewels’ they called them and started collecting them. Four kids, 15 to 30 mins in a store meant the store floors were wiped clean by the time we left. —Games they come up with!
“Nana, I want a beautiful dress for the wedding, just like that dholi taro song. Will you ask Mumma to buy something like that for me?” Nana promised that she would have something similar, which meant everything we bought for them had to be approved by Nana. Added to it was the fact that there was nothing I was liking. Which meant I gave up and decided I would rather she wore cotton than the bling and took her to Fab India. She wanted a lehnga and there were a couple in her size. She liked one, I liked it too, paid and bought. All excited I came home but the lehnga failed Choti Nani’s and Nana’s sniff test. Too simple for a wedding, it was deemed. “I can’t find anything else,” I wailed. Paa made a few calls and figured out that there was one store that might have something for the kids. Not exactly to my taste but much better than anything else we had seem so under all the eyes watching me I said yes. She loved it. It twirled and swirled, what was not to love. —Gold and blue lehnga!
“Mehndi mehndi,” she had been dreaming for a year. “Can you draw a design on my hand?” ever so often she would come holding a pen. The day of mehndi came and she was giddy. We had a lot of little things to take care so we left early morning with the promise to come back in time for the mehndi in the evening. Between blouse fittings, bangle shopping, shoe shopping for the kids, shirt for AK Mama, jutti for PD Mama aka the groom, the day got away from us. As we were about to head back home, two evenings to the wedding, PD Mama remembered he had to get a pagdi and the kalgi that goes with it. What? Everything came to halt. We ran like crazy to find the shops. It was already dark and she knew the mehndi people were already home. Her little heart broke, convinced that they would leave before we got home. Promises and assurances made no difference. Even bribe of an ice-cream worked only for 10 or so minutes. Longest hour and half for her, for sure. We came home and she ran in crying, “Choti Nani did they leave?” and halted as she saw all the people singing and the mehndi wala sitting there. A quick change of clothes and she sat as she waited for her turn, all while other kids ran and played. Me telling her that I would call her when it was her turn made no difference. —The only child who did not wash her hands before going to bed that night!
“Papa is not going to come. I am sure he is not going to come.” Everyone was home, someone came by every hour but Papa was not there. It was the day of the sangeet, it was time for the late nap, after which we would get dressed and leave for sangeet and Papa was not there. “Papa will be here when you get up from your nap,” was met with “Are you sure? For real?” Well guess who woke her from her nap? And guess what she did when she saw his face? Held on tight and did not let go. Dressed in her Fab India lehnga and the bindi and chuddi that she had asked for but had thought I had forgotten, she bounced off the walls till the rest of us got dressed. Beautiful dress, music, dancing, food, ice-cream, Papa. —Life is good!
“Can we get dressed for the wedding?” “Why is it in the evening?” “Why can’t we dress up early?” “Why do we need to take a nap?” and we finally got dressed in the evening. The mehndi was perfect, the bangles jingled, the bindi matched, the lehnga twirled. As we got nearer to the wedding venue there was a horse drawn cart and all the kids got to sit in it to give PD Mama company. There was something called the band, there was dancing, there was a long wait to get inside the venue as Mama’s friends danced, there was candy cane, there was kulfi, and then the little bundle came to a halt .. there came SK Mami and she was beautiful. Pause and gape. OK there was paneer, there was ice-cream. Eat, dance, get pictures clicked and she fell asleep before the pheras started. But woke up in time to welcome Mami home. —Little dreams she dreamt of for a year, they all came true in one short trip!
Dear Buzz,
Every month I think back to the month past and I am amazed at how much you have grown. Your actions, your activities, your questions – they take me by surprise every single time.
A few weekends back Bugz woke up in the morning and woke you up as well. You two walked in to our room but it was still early so you turned to Bugz and said “Mumma needs to sleep, let’s go down.” Unable to sleep knowing the two of you were alone, I walked down 10 or so minutes later to find the two of you sitting on your chairs on the deck eating strawberries. You looked up and said “I washed them before putting them in bowls Mumma.” I was speechless. Since then you seem to relish being the one to give Bugz her morning snack on weekends. I stay in bed listening to your conversations and smile. “Bugz what do you want to eat today?” you ask. She replies and you surprise me every time. Last Sunday I came down to see you two eating bread. You had gotten the packet of bread out of the fridge, pulled a chair to put two slices in the toaster, gotten two plates out, waited for the bread slices to get toasted, applied butter to both of them. I was speechless is an understatement.
Early in the summer your class was a mix of kids from different grades. The older kids could do the monkey bars, you could hang from one bar but could not traverse. You worked on it every chance you got and a month later you were hanging off them, well like a monkey. You have blisters on your palms but you count them with pride and keep on with your monkey bars. Any visit to the park come with only one pre-requisite, it should have monkey bars.
You learned how to ride a bike last year but that was on a small bike. This year we got you a big girl bike. It is high, your feet barely touch the ground while you are on it, you haven’t really mastered the getting on the bike yourself part but you love ridding, especially when one of us takes out our bike and ride with you. The other thing you love is when your Paa and I go for a run and you ride alongside us. Excited, confident, you keep talking while the out of breadth us try to keep up with you.
Your Paa had dreamt a dream from I don’t even know when. You fulfilled part of it last winter when you skied alongside him. The other part came true last month when you climbed. We bought you a harness, fixed a rope on top of a rock wall and you climbed while your Paa belayed you. He gave you a little pull to move you a tad bit higher when you were totally stuck but for the most part your climbed up on your own. When you got to the top of that rock wall I could not make up my mind who I should focus on, your hand waving from the top or your Paa’s face radiating with pride.
You are processing everything you see and hear and are adding further layers to them. Your questions are getting more and more complicated to have straightforward answers. You understand that a doctor helps get a baby out of mommy’s tummy but now you wonder how the baby gets there in the first place. You asked me where did the first first first man come from and I reply with the easiest thing that comes to my mind, “they came from monkeys.” “Really? Really Mumma!” you asked over and over again and I thought we were done. The next day you came back with “Where did the first, very first living thing come from?” That you made the man to monkey to first living thing connect held me in shock. The next thought was”, how do I explain this?” Darwin’s theory of evolution here we come! You wanted to know “Is God for real, Mommy?” Unsure about how to answer, I replied, “Some people believe God is real and some people believe he is not.” You thought about that for a minute and asked “What do you believe, Mumma?”
Last year during the school year, your teachers taught you the concept of responsibility. They kept repeating that doing and bringing your homework back to school was the responsibility of every kid and not the parents. They told you that you had to be the ones to remind the parents when something was needed at school. They insisted that you had to remember to carry your own things home. “I am responsible!” you tell us constantly. Yes you are sweetheart and so grown up. Your insistence in helping me as I cook, the pride with which you tell everyone that you are the tallest kid in your class, your taking care of Bugz, your big hugs, your ever present smiles – I love it all and wish that continue to grow beautifully. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay you. Always!
Love,
-Maa
“Mumma, help!” she calls from the bathroom. Wagging my finger, I step in.
“Aap silly ho,” she laughs.
“Kyoun?” I ask in mock horror.
“Because you do all the work,” she flashes her smile. “Silly bahut accha hota hei, mumma!” she continues.
Floored, mush, puddle.. call me whatever you like but I like her definition of silly 🙂
Dear Bugz,
When we were on our trip, we did not order a baby crib for you. We wanted to see how you would do with sleeping on a regular mattress. The first two nights you were unsure, always weary of change that you are. Your Didi, besides whom you were supposed to sleep, asked if you wanted to hold her hand as you slept. That calmed you down and for the next week that is how you fell asleep – holding Didi’s hand. Once we were back, you were so excited to see your crib but mean parent took it down the same night. You were so upset and only when you saw the new sheets atop your new mattress that you smiled. You still asked, “Why?” every time you saw your disassembled crib in the garage, till you realized the freedom of sleeping in a regular bed. Now we can hear you running around in your room way past bedtime.
You used to love your sippy-cup. You only got it during naptime and nini time but that was not something that you were willing to give up. We conveniently forgot to take them for our trip and in all the excitement you never really asked for it but that first night back you insisted on one. We had to do a complete search of all the places, till you were convinced they were not at home. Unhappy is a very mild word.
You were so excited to start school but then you had such a bad experience in the first couple of days in a play care, which has a two week stop gap between when S aunty left and we started our vacation, that the word ‘school’ caused you to panic. The first few days you started your actual school, were horrible. Your Paa and I watched our phones constantly, a nagging ache in our hearts. For the rest of the week, you cried at drop off but not after. Then this week, just second week in to your school, you jump in to your class, happy to see your teachers. You still don’t play with anyone, stay glued to Ms. H but not one tear and we can’t tell you how relived we are. We expected worse, has mentally prepared ourselves for much worse but you surprised us.
And then you have your little observations that make us burst out laughing. You try putting on your own clothes or shoes and get them wrong more times than right. You look up and gleefully tell us, ‘ulta pulta ho gaya!” You saw an recumbent bike the other day. Amazed you looked on, turned and told us, “nini kar ke cycle chala raha hei.” A lot of people come up to you to tell you that you are cute, mostly because of your mass of curly hair. Your Didi picked it up and call you cute ever so often. The other day as I was getting you ready after your swim and a shower, you looked at yourself in the mirror and exclaim, “Me kitna cute hai!” Yeah darling, as I laugh out, I agree you are so very cute.
Changes have come in fast for you -we got rid of your crib, we told you “Baby took your sippy-cup,” we started you in a new school and but for minor starting problems you have cruised through them all and through it all you have kept your spirit. Your loud laugh when you find something funny, your pout when you don’t like something, your scream when you are angry, your stubbornness to get your way, your way to get away with anything with Didi, your insistence that all my attention be yours – if anything you have turned the dial to extra high on all of these. You rule our world, make it go around and all we wish for you is that you continue to grow in to the child you are. Be happy, be healthy, be you sweetheart.
Love,
-Maa
A few days back, Buzz was playing with two sticks. Bugz wanted to play with them as well so Buzz handed over one as she said,
We share Bugz
One minute they were playing together, the next Buzz looked the other way and the little one was off with both the sticks. A chase around the house, lots of screaming, reasoning and crying followed, to no avail. Drama was escalating to an unmanageable level but the scariest part for me was the sticks moving in all directions so I stepped in. I did exactly what Buzz had done to begin with, gave them one stick each and explained that they had to share.
Bugz went in to her stubborn meltdown. Both sticks it had to be. So I shrugged, tough love and all that, only to turn around to Buzz saying,
Here you go, Bugz. Aap dono le lo!
Having witnessed this multiple times in the past, I had to ask Bugz’ favorite question,
Why?
Because I don’t want Bugz to cry!
Sigh! Sibling love in our house means one really spoilt little kid and one forever giving elder one.
– All my work backlog is done. There is still a lot to do but at least it is only my work that I need to do. Plus the project I am working on is new (to me), super high importance but more importantly very interesting. #LearningNewThingsAndExecutingWellOnThem
– Ski season is done and dusted. Snow is melting away to give way to flower filled meadows. Buzz has gotten used to lazy Sundays again. No longer does she demand to be taken to the mountains. #FreeTimeForAChild
– For two weekends straight we stayed at home. The house was cleaned from top to bottom. For every place I cleaned, the two helpers cleaned the same place twice over. #SparkelingCleanMessFreeHouse
– Buzz has half an hour swimming class every weekend. I started taking Bugz to the pool as well. Bugz loves water, a flotation device keeps her safe, I let her do as she pleases. There will be time for learning the skills, this is time to have fun. She loves to play in water but was scared to jump in while standing at the edge of the pool. It took me 3 or so weeks but the fear is no more. Now jumping in is the new favorite activity. She is in and out of the pool every 5 mins #JumpRightIn
– Buzz’s school had an art show recently. They save three art works for each child through the school year and then display it on a particular day. To see art done by your child, presented beautifully is an experience. Buzz loves art, she is forever drawing, coloring, creating but this year’s art show was an eye opener for me. The things she imagined and how well she executed on them. We redecorated her room with the new art she has been doing and the ones we got from school. #JoyOfCreativity
– Bugz was a miser when it came to kisses. My younger one not giving me kisses went against my right as a mother so I started working on it. “Bugz kissi,” became a mantra. Now we have it down pat. I get a kiss each on each cheek and so does she, after which we grin ear to ear. She continues to be a miser with everyone else, Paa included. #ProudMomMomentEvilMomMoment
– A friend recently had a baby. I was on standby all day Friday to drive her parents to the hospital as soon as the baby was born. I got the call at 5:15 in the evening, “baby is here!” I called D to pick up Buzz, buckled Bugz in her car seat, drove to pick up Uncle and Aunty and then to the hospital. Besides the parents and the hospital staff, I was among the first ones to see the little guy. Adorable is the word. You forget how tiny and fragile they are and how absolutely precious. Bugz was besides herself going “chotta sa baby!” #HoldingPreciousnessInYourHands
– A trip has been planned, tickets have been booked. We are still a couple of months out but the excitement level is high at home. We can’t wait to get through the school year and then relax for a week before starting summer school. #DreamingOfSunSandAndBlueWaters
– I started running again. The ankle is almost all good and to test it further, I went for a run. Minor soreness and nothing else and so I started. I try running about 3 times a week, 40 mins, 3 miles. The muscles are sore, body asks what the heck am I doing, but I go on. #GoodSoreMusclePain
– D does not travel out of town as much any more. When he switched jobs early last year, it resulted in constant travelling for him. He was gone a couple times a week, every week. It took a toll on all of us. Buzz would have a meltdown every single day he was not home. “I miss Papa!” she would cry. Bugz would follow in tune of course. There was all the travelling for D and all the extra work for me. We were a total mess. Re-orgs, upper management decisions and crafty deflections (from his side) and he has only travelled a couple of times this year. #TogetherWeMakeAFamily
– Wedding preparations are in full swing in India. Every call made ends up in discussion of what the kids will be wearing, what I will be wearing (D no one cares about). Given how my tastes for India wear runs toward cotton which is a big no no for a wedding, but again given how no one is sure what I will like, there is constant talk but no end result. The latest is that I have told them, find me a tailor who is ready to do all the stitching in a week’s time and I will take care of the rest. #ExcitementOverAFamilyWeddingAfterYears
– Buzz can’t wait to go to India. Her demands are long and ever growing. “I want to eat paranthas everyday. Paneer paranthas are my favorite! I want mehndi on my hands! I want to wear a saree. Please can I wear bangles? Can I get holes in my ears? Will there be mithaa to eat?”. #FirstWeddingCelebrationForTheLittleOnes
Meandering through.. 