The more you grow up, more of your personality comes out and more I am thankful for the wonderful kid you are. I am not saying that when you start crying for seemingly no reason and don’t stop, I don’t lose my patience or when you keep playing during a meal despite constant reminders to be careful and spill your milk all over the table, the floor, your clothes, I don’t get mad. I am saying that this is a stage you are in and as a kid you are entitled to you tantrums and your games but there is so much positivity in you that as a mom I am grateful every single day.
The first time Bugz got a timeout was mostly because of you. No, you were not at fault, she was. But that day, I stopped trying to explain to you that she was too little and did not understand what she was doing. I took her to the timeout corner and made her stand and I turned around to see a huge smile on your face. You two were on equal footings from then on. You both could and would get timeouts for things that you were not supposed to do. The next time Bugz got a timeout you asked me not to give her one. When I stood firm and Bugz had to go to timeout, you went and sat next to her. Bugz being Bugz pulled your hair and you came running, complaining. I asked you why you wanted to sit with her, you of course could not put it in to words so went back to your games. A couple of minutes later you came to me and asked if Bugz was done with her timeout. As soon as I said yes, you ran to her, held her hand and brought her back. Now a days every time you figure Bugz is about to get a timeout, you run to stand in front of her and tell me, ‘Mumma Bugz se galti ho gayi, phir se nahein karegi’ (Mumma Bugz made a mistake, she will not do it again). Then you turn to her and say, ‘Bugz sorry bolo’. Bugz, the smart one, promptly puts both her hands on her cheeks. I keep a stern face and nod but I smile this big smile inside.
Not just this, but in so many other things make you an amazing elder sister. But for the time you go to school, you always want Bugz to go with you when we step out of the house. You hold her hand before any of us can. You come running if she falls or is crying. You show her off the few times she comes to your school. Once you are dressed, your next question is about Bugz’ dress. You keep her entertained and make her laugh in the backseat of the car when we are on long drives. You hold her milk and keep it aside when she is done. ‘Didi’, she calls out and you come running no matter what you are doing. Little things, so many little things you do for her and my heart swells up seeing it all.
When we were in India, you Fufu got you a cake. By the time he came home you were fast asleep so you saw it in the morning. You decided with your Fufu that the cake was to be had in the evening. You waited all day and refused to cut it without Fufu. You were again asleep by the time Fufu came home. The same thing happened the next day. The morning after Fufu decided, morning was as good a time to cut a cake as any. The cake was cut and you sat in Fufu’s lap, smiling, talking, eating your cake. I looked on amazed at the control and will of a little kid. You wanted everyone around when the cake was cut and you waited a couple of days for it to be so.
You know our rule of not having more than one candy a day. ‘Too much sugar’, you come and tell me and you follow the rule, no questions asked. I can’t believe that we still have candy left from Halloween and Valentine’s day. You don’t even ask for them every day and I am left wondering at the kid you are.
You were crying a few days back and said a few nasty things to me. I replied calmly and said ‘no’ to whatever it was you were asking for. You came back with, ‘you are not being nice to me’. I asked if you were being nice to me for saying all the things you said. You started crying louder, looked at me with tear filled eyes and said, ‘I am sorry for not being nice, Mumma’. I held you and consoled you but you kept saying sorry. You calmed down after I convinced you that I was not hurt and that I still loved you, but what stayed with me was my shock at your realization and how much it meant to you that you had hurt me with your words. I know they talk about this at school but you are still a little kid. I guess I was not expecting this depth of remorse from you.
I make rice two days in a row and you tell me, ‘Kal roti banana OK?’ (make roti tomorrow, ok?). I think out loud on what to cook for the day and you are there with your preference before anyone else – Kadhi, chole, rajma, paneer, dosa, khichadi and your Pa and I laugh out loud. Our kid is old enough to dictate what gets made in the house. But then there are times when you look at some vegetable and don’t like it (to be honest I look at it and don’t feel like eating it either) but you still finish your meal without much fuss. The only extra requirements in such a case is that there be extra serving of yogurt and I feed you the last part of your meal. How can I ever say no to such a request?
We have this game of kisses getting over. I tell you my kisses are getting over and you give me loads of yours to fill up my stock. I do the same and we laugh and roll as we play. In between all your plays and friends and activities there is always time for a hug for you Pa and me. In between all the times that Bugz hogs the limelight there is always a quite holding and sitting on my lap from you. In all the daily grind of running around, there is always your laugh to make us smile. In between all the stress that comes every day, there is your innocent non-stop chatter which makes us laugh.
At the end of the day as I kiss you good night, you tell me, ‘I love you, Mumma’. I put the blanket on you and we blow kisses to each other. I step out of your room, thankful for everything that you are, thankful for having you. You are precious to us, more than we can every say in words, like an answer to a prayer send out unknown to even us. Your laughing, jumping, talking, ever moving image is what I carry with me as I close my eyes every night. My very own hansi, my very own khushi. Stay healthy, stay happy, stay you sweetheart. Always!
Loads of love,