Month: September 2009

First Appointment

Nothing..not a thing..I had not a single symptoms for the first few weeks..which was kind of scary. The horror stories you hear about Moms-to-be throwing up non-stop, nausea, tiredness..I had no symptoms. Barring the fact that we saw the pink line and a confirmation via blood test, I had no indication of a new life growing inside.

We were planning a trip to Alaska. Tickets had been booked before we found out, reservations made. We were going with 11 of our friends and were really looking forward to the trip. Now with the baby in the mix I waited for my first OBGYN (TT) appointment to see if I could make the trip.

The day of the appointment had a myriad of thoughts running through my head. Got not a single thing done at work (soon came to the realization that afternoon appointments were not conducive to getting any work done). D and I got to TT’s office on time but had to wait for half an hour at the reception and then another 20 or so mins inside. The nurse took my weight, height, blood pressure etc. and explained the baby wellness tests that we had to take and some which were not required but we could still take them if we wanted. She got us through all the paperwork before TT came in.

 TT in her brisk..professional style came..checked the  baby by touching my uterus..said the baby felt as big as a 6 weeks old rather than 6 week 5 days that I though it should be!!..??..(I did not know what to think of this information)..gave me my expected due date..reassured everything looked good..left..end of appointmnet. Not a very reassuring appointment 😦

We did ask if we could make our trip to Alaska and got a go. Camping was OK as well. I could lift weight up to 20 pounds so even the backpacking part of the trip was on.

Also got an appointment for the first ultrasound which would happen soon after we came back from our trip to Alaska. 🙂

The wait

It’s funny how the mind works..all through our marriage about the same time every month the wait would start and any delay caused a lot of stress and then suddenly one decision and the same thing coming on time was met with a lot of disappointment.

A lot of time spent online reading symptoms, what can be, the earliest you can find out, finding products that could tell you up to 4 days in advance..

Every month a stage of acceptance was crossed..from despair..to why not..to why me..to it will happen when it happens..

And then came a day to pee on a stick..and the nerves got the better of me. I waited two extra days..did not want to build up hope just to be dashed. I slept fitfully all night having decided to do the test first thing in the morning. Woke up early..did the deed..watched at the stick like a hawk for the mentioned 3 mins. The faint pink line started forming way before the 3 mins were up. I rushed to wake up D and dragged him to the bathroom. Groggy, rubbing his eyes he looked at the little stick..smiled and gave me a hug.

Doctors office same day conformed the news. Just like the wait was over..

The Conversation

Don’t know when the thoughts started. I know it was not a sudden thing, but I became aware that I had started imagining a baby who had D’s nose and my eyes. That is not to say I did not snap at anyone who asked, when we were planning a baby. The when of having a baby had to be our decision and I was not ready to have anyone push us to make one. But one day I did realize I was ready. Having a baby was no longer something that was delegated to distant future..

The realization though not sudden still came as a shock. Me who was so focused on my career, the next promotion, getting ahead. I then started thinking of how a baby would affect my career and realized that for me my baby would come ahead of my career. Another shocker was the realization that I was ready to leave my job for my baby if it ever came to that..

I mulled over things for a while..sorting out my thoughts..my priorities..trying to be sure that this is what I really wanted. Once sure I spoke to D and in typical male fashion he started his W questions..Why a baby? When..now? Why now? So went the conversation. He was totally blindsided..had not expected this at all..

At the end of our conversation he said, ‘Am not ready yet..give me some time to think things through’.

Cut to 4 months later – D came back with ‘Let’s do it’ (Not that we did not have the conversation over again a few times but in the end he came around on his own) 🙂

Good News

We were visiting D’s family. They stay on the fourth floor in an apartment complex. We were heading out to go some place. D having left a few seconds before me was a floor below me, going down the stairs when a maid who used to work at their place when we got married was coming up.

M: Bhaiyaji Namaste

D: Namaste

M: Aap kaise ho?

D: Theek

M: Aur biwi bachchee kaise hein?

D: Biwi theek hei..bachchee abhi nahien hein..

M: Hain bachchee nahein hein? Shaadi ko to 4 saal ho gaye na..sab theek to hei..mein eak doctor ka naam bataati huin..

It has been quite some time since this conversation took place but I can’t forget the look on D’s face 🙂 . Having married as long as we had been then, I used to hear about..Kid or rather the lack of them.. ever so often. Never really from immediate family but all the Uncle and Aunties around. This was D’s first experience.

I came up with all sorts of stupid replies for this question overtime:

– I am still studying.

– Raising kids is super expensive so earning some money before the kids are born.

– Work is busy busy busy.

and then when all else fails

– I am ready, D is not. Why don’t you go talk to him?

I don’t understand why everyone in India is first ready to get you married and then soon after the wedding starts asking..Any good news..(the news in Good..we are happy together)..

If you don’t have a kid within two years of the wedding then there something wrong and no one ask guys any of these questions. It’s always the women who gets bombarded with them. Along with the suggestion that it’s in the girls hand, what do the guys know. Stop taking the pill..!!!..

Ah why..??..

The begining

Thoughts are so many, so finding a place to put them all. Will I actually put a lot them down? Well only time will tell. Starting with a pure heart and an open mind. Have ideas on what I want to put down in this space. Now have to find the time, the motivation and the words.

Here’s hoping the words flow as easily as the thoughts. This is for you sweet one.. Lots of love..Maa..