Category: You are it

Learning as I go

Little Finger tagged me on the 5 lessons of life that being a Mom has taught me.

I have always said that being a parent is not easy. It is a lot of work but it is also very rewarding. One smile, one uttered Mumma, one hug can heal a day’s worth of wounds. As I walk down this journey here are the things that stand out the most as the learning from the road travelled thus far:

1. Judging parents: Till I had Buzz it was very easy for me to judge other parents based on how their kids behaved, the kind of food they ate, the time they went to sleep. But once I became a parent realization came that there is no good parent/bad parent. We are all doing the best we can for our kids in a way that works for us. I might not agree with the parenting style of someone but that is their way and just as I have to follow my way, they need to follow there’s. I stopped judging parents and have realized that with time it is flowing in to other aspects of my life. I give everyone a longer rope for their actions rather than making snap judgments about anyone.

2. Kind of mother: We all have an image in our heads of the kind of person we are. And then life happens and we see what we really are. Along with this image, I also had an image of the kind of mother I would be. Motherhood turned that image on its head. I am not even a quarter of my image of myself as a Mom. I make a lot of mistakes, I get angry, I get frustrated, I want to give up at times. All this is followed by me getting upset at myself. I have learned I am nowhere close to being perfect as a human being or as a Mom and that it is ok to make mistakes and it is ok to forgive myself even when I make the same mistakes in some shape or form over and over again.

3. Unconditional love: Cliché as it may sound, I have really truly learned the meaning of unconditional love. With my friends and D and even my parents the grownup mind plays games when I am angry and it takes me time to let go of my anger when things go wrong. Buzz on the other hand cries buckets, throws a fit, flings herself on the ground but the minute all of it is done she comes running because she wants to be held. For her we are the ultimate comfort providers, the ones who soothe away all the hurt. And when she nestles in my lap with her head against my chest, all the anger seeps away leaving behind only love. Unconditional, without any strings.

4. Giving space: As a Mom it is easy to be swept away in the river of guilt because it shows up at every turn ready to take you in. And I have learned that it is ok to take some time off for myself, to give myself some space. It is ok to send Buzz to daycare when I take a day off because it keeps me sane. It makes me relax and be a better Mom to her when she is at home. It helps me heal from my hurts and pains so that I can spend quality time with her when she is around. It reminds me that I have a persona other than being a Mom and it needs to be nurtured too, because at some point I will have to let Buzz go and I don’t want to be an empty shell when that happens.

5. Competition: I never realized how soon competition comes in to play with kids. Not from the kids side but amongst the mothers. It starts with my baby started rolling over at 3 months, has yours started yet? Moves on to when they start to sit, crawl, walk, talk and the comparison never end. Then there is the need to impress others that we are better moms, so there is ‘I take my baby to the park everyday’, ‘I cook fresh food for him/her everyday’, ‘I take her/him to this and this and this class twice a week’. And others follow suit listing out what all they do. After a while if you stop and look you realize you are putting extra pressure on yourself as a Mom, no one else really cares what you are doing for your kid or the milestone your kid has reached. And even more importantly the kid does not care. They are going at their pace and till they are happy and healthy why stress out? I was there in the rat race for the award of the best Mom for a while till I realize it was not worth it. In fact I was putting extra pressure on myself and on Buzz at this tender an age to compete about something which was not even important. I learned to take a step back. I still get sucked in once a while but awareness comes more and more quickly these days for me to back up just in time.

Learning of parenthood will go on but till then I have to tag 5 Moms.

AHK – because I bet she will have some fun things to say (if she finds the time to write about them).

Scribby – as a new Mom, I am sure her lessons are endless.

Uma – with her experience I bet we will all have something to learn.

Ambuli’s Amma – we have to welcome her back from the heat of India in style right?

Sakshi – what better way to get her out of her blog slumber and because I can guarantee she will crack us all up with her learnings. 😀

 Take it away ladies. 🙂

Live and learn

Miss Rays seems to think that teaching is not a new learning experience everyday and hence wants to know what I want to learn. Err..who said I want to learn anything 😳 Me?? Me?? Seriously?? 😯 Naaaa..I know everything I need to know. I am done with all the learning business 😛 😛

  • CPR: I always have thought that CPR was an important thing to learn but have not gotten around to it. Then one day a certain e-Akka of Buzz asked me what I would do if Buzz fell and hurt herself. I found myself with no answers. As she went on to explain what, how, when of things I should do, it hit home hard that I need to do this and do it quick. D knowing CPR gives me some breathing room but that does not excuse my not knowing the how’s of CPR.
  • Photography: I love to take pictures but I am self-taught and know I can do a lot better. Beautiful pictures capture my interest like no other and I would love to one day have the knowhow to be able to click pictures with proper filters, light, aperture and whatever else is required.
  • Animation Design: In my mind animations are a perfect blend of creativity and technology and would love to explore the field to see the images and stories in my head come alive as talking, moving somethings on a computer screen.
  • Painting: Besides from learning the basics of water painting in school I have never had any formal training in it. I dabble in water paints and acrylics when the whim strikes but lose patience when things start to go wrong. Would love to learn the right technique or even try out oil paints. To be able to pick up a blank canvas and be able to render something beautiful would be an amazing high.
  • Juggling: I have horrible hand-eye coordination. I suck big time at sports for the same reason. And so it follows that I can never get past juggling more than two objects. But watching people juggle 3 or more objects is fascinating and I love to dream that one day I will get it. If there is a trick to it and you know and are willing to share, I am all ears. Please pass on all information. But do keep in mind the hand-eye coordination challenged me 😐 so keep it simple 😛
  • Perfect Makeup: Fact – I can’t apply makeup. Fact – The only thing I can do is dab lipstick on my lips. Fact – I can’t even get the eyeliner to go along the curve of my eyelids in consistent thickness. Not that I miss it much or mind that I can’t but when I see a woman with just the right makeup pass by, I wish I knew how, for those special occasions. Which haven’t shown up yet..or if they have I missed them completely..but I would love to have the knowhow if I am ever faced with them..special occasions I mean.
  • Snowboarding: I can ski and have the confidence to come down a blue slope with ease. Have heard that snowboarding is a lot of fun..and they can sit on their butt whenever the fancy strikes..and they have way cooler clothes than skiers..and look way too cool coming down a hill. What I can’t have shallow reasons to want to learn something??
  • Start a campfire: I know the theory of it. Have seen D do it enough number of times to know the how’s of it. But have never done it. And have always wanted to. hmm maybe will put a check in front of this one the next time we are out camping.
  • Make a fancy dish: You know those dishes they show on TV which has ingredients you have never heard of and a dash of red wine at the very end? Yeah I would love to learn to cook one of those. Why you ask? Remember the coolness factor above? Yeah same same. How cool would it be to serve a dish which looks fancy, has a fancy name, and has fancy ingredients. Taste..err you really care about that??
  • Sense of humor: Sigh if only you could learn that from someone/someplace. I guess I shall have to be happy with I have 😐

Sheess Miss Rays see what you did. Now I really will have to go do some learning. Let me pass along the pain..err same to..oh wait you did not leave anyone for me to tag.. 😥

I tag AHKPinsAndAshes, Priya, Rani and Varsh. Let’s hear it from you ladies, what goes on your list of things to learn.

Sing along

Pal ran this scramble contest which I did not win because I answered (correct at that mind you) somewhere in the middle of the pack. Booohoooo 😥 sob. But since it is a rolling trophy I got another chance at winning it over at Shail’s Nest and I won..I won..I won.. Yipe. See my new shine shining trophy :mrgreen:

Now doing my part of passing on the Rolling Trophy. Get ready to unscramble this.

Ekmos defilt, enop ksy eimn..enw ador, wne ejnoruy nmie..fi ouy acn bceemo ym aenprrt..elt eht eesy eemt

There, now unscramble this and then tell me which song this is from. Both questions need to be answered in order to win. I hold the one and only say on who the winners are. So go on tell me 🙂

Sinfully me

A tag that has taken the blog world by storm – ‘My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes’. Created by IHM and passed on to me by The Bald Guy and Priya

Here goes my list of 10 things that I have done which I am not supposed to as a woman:

  1. I kept my last name after I got married.
  2. I was forever the first one to climb trees and climb the highest. Roll in the mud and come out the dirtiest. Take a fall and come back with scraped knees.
  3. I have stayed alone in an empty hostel which generally bustles with 100+ women and not cared there was no one around.
  4. I was the resident ‘Chipkali Chaser’ during the hostel days.
  5. I have travelled alone more times than I can count, taking both domestic and international trips. One of which included taking a 3 month old baby to India and back. The number of raised eyebrows for that one where too many to count.
  6. I hate shopping with a vengeance and am known to avoid it as much as I can.
  7. I don’t go the whole makeup/jewelry route. Most of the makeup stuff I got (read was bought for me) during the wedding has not been opened yet (read one lipstick and one eyeliner got opened and are now eating dust as well). Same goes for jewelry. The only jewelry I wear is my wedding band.
  8. I work late, weekends when I have to. I have been known to come home way past midnight when work takes over.
  9. I am the official ‘read the instruction manual and figure out how things will fit together’ in the assemble it yourself gadgets and furniture that we buy. And am known for finishing most of these task by myself.
  10. I love to drive and can never be one of those who will not drive when a guy is around. I like the sense of being in control, at going the speed I want to, at taking the route I want to take. No inputs required. Thank You very much.

I would like to tag Misty, Piyu, DI, Rani, Sonia, Geeta, AHK, Chatterbox, Doli, Dido, Dew and  Maverickshree (that is 12 of them right.. Phew). So go on ladies take up the tag.

Regular Things

Hey ya people,

Since Maa is crazy busy, to even give me as much time as I would like her to, I thought I would get some revenge and take over this blog thing. And then Mr. Bald Guy went and tagged me.. ME..not Maa..ME.. Yipe..yay.. I am to talk about 9 things I wear regularly. How easy is that? So are you ready..really ready to know. Okeiiyy Dokeiiyy..here we go.

  1. Diaper: I mean there is not even a min except for when I am getting a massage and taking a bath that these things are not on me. Not ever. Sigh..how is a kid to have some fun someone tell me? 😦
  2. Oil: I did talk about massage did I not. Yeah..so I get one every day. Are they fun or what? But Maa is being very stingy with oil. Keeps muttering about making it last or something. 🙄
  3. Onesie: I can’t even keep a count on the number of full sleeves white onesies Maa has bought from me. I mean no matter how many of them I throw food on or drool all over, Maa always has a freshly washed one for me. And I am forever in one or the other first and foremost, the rest of the clothes follow.
  4. Shoes: I had these awesome shoes with velcro as closures. I used to have so much fun getting out of those and throwing the shoes all over. And it was even more fun to watch Maa try and find where I threw them. But now Maa got me these lace up shoes and she double knots them on top, so forget getting the shoes off, I can’t even pull the lace and play with them. How very unfair. Can someone talk to Maa about this please. *gives puppy dog look*
  5. Tears: Maa has taken to calling me a ‘Drama Queen’. She says I can squeeze tears out of my eyes at a minutes’ notice. But someone tell me, what is a baby to do. I try explaining to Maa and Paa what I want. Half the time they don’t understand what I am trying to say. The other half even when they understand, they say NO. Why can’t I put my hand in the toilet pot? Why can’t I climb up the dining table and hit the lights hanging there? Why can’t I climb into the dishwasher? So I show them I have some power too by crying big tears. But even that seems to have no effect on these people. They are mean or what 😐
  6. Trousers: Maa got me these cutest trousers in beige and brown and they have heart cut out patch (in self says Maa) on the knees. I love these trousers. They are so comfortable and look amazing on me. What?? A girl HAS to watch what she wears does she not? No matter the age. 😛 😛
  7. T-shirt: Maa also got me this T-shirt which says ‘Hug Me’. Every time I wear this T-shirt, Maa keeps smiling fondly at me and keeps giving me hugs. I have also come to realize that I get a lot of hugs from a lot more people when I have this T-shirt on. So that is my first choice of what I want to wear if I can get my hands on them. 😀 😀
  8. Socks: Talk of shoes can’t be complete without socks now can they? So let’s talk socks..white socks. I mean there are so many pink socks out there..why am I forever stuck in the white ones? Why can’t I get some color? No Sir.. but Maa is stuck up in her ‘no-pink for my little girl’ mantra 🙄 I am so going to make her pay for it one day. Anyone care to bet on that??
  9. Smile: My smile takes me the farthest in me getting my way. It can thaw Maa and melt Paa in a heartbeat. So I carry it with me at all times. It is never far away. Always present just waiting for something/one to bestow it upon. 🙂 🙂

That’s it? All done? I can go on..I promise..I can. But well rules and all. And it is being drummed in to me to follow them, so I will stop here. Sigh.. But..but there are people to tag.. so I tag: my doll friend Ms. Rays, Revs Akka, my sweetest friend T, Nu Mausi and Aunty mat kahoo na Swaram.

Will catch you all real soon. Till then b-bye
-Buzz:

Mein siraf sach bolungi..

Aur sach ke siwaah kuch bhi nahein.

Nu tagged me and the rules go thus:
RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

But..but what is the fun in that..I am not following the rules..these were meant to be broken..these really were..so here goes.

Asked someone to marry you? Guilty Sigh those ragging days, they made us propose marriage on a daily basis, to different people that too 😦 Not that I am complaining 😉

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty I kiss Buzz everyday, so many times I can’t keep a count. I have also kissed my Mom and so many friends. All on the cheek unless you guys start thinking dirty thoughts. But kissed oh yes.

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent I can’t stand going to a bar, the smoke gets to me, so dancing on a table is too far off.

Ever told a lie? Guilty Looks down while drawing a flower with her toe.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent Thank God for small mercies.

Kissed a picture? Guilty Kiss Kiss ko pyaar karuin.. err.. D and Buzz.

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent My stomach makes sure I get up if not for breakfast then by 11:00 for brunch.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty You would too if you had to listen to this professor go on and on about Fluid Mechanics right after lunch in peak Indian summer.

Held a snake? Innocent And plan to keep it like that.. ThankYouVeryMuch.

Been suspended from school? Innocent Am glad. Maa would have killed me.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent Used to wish I would, back in the day, in the hopes of getting free fries and coke. Alas studies left no time, not to talk about how to get past Maa.

Stolen from a store? Guilty Stole candy once. Only to come home and have Maa eat my ears off, since she saw me and paid for it.

Been fired from a job? Innocent Would really like to keep it that way.

Done something you regret? Guilty Such is life, regrets plenty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty I am just glad it was water that I was drinking, unlike Jaljeera like my friend. Her nose itched for hours 😀

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Guilty Do you know the number of times I have fallen down on a ski slope. Snowfall makes visibility real poor, hence the fall all the more. My mouth was opened more times than I want to remember 😦

Kissed in the rain? Guilty No need to explain this one..is there 😛

Sat on a roof top? Guilty All the time back in India. What wonderful days 🙂

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent That practical side insured this one.

Sang in the shower? Guilty O’putra thande thande paani se nahaana chahiye..every single time I had to take a cold shower in India..especially in Chandigarh. Water there is COLD.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent One has to be near a pool for that..right 😛

Shaved your head? Guilty Did not have much of a say in that one. They got it done when I was one 😦

Had a boxing membership? Innocent Now if you asked Kickboxing I would say yes yes yes.

Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty Unfortunately yes and not once.. 😦

Been in a band? Guilty Mock Rock band in college and we did real good impersonation of Bon Jovi if I say so myself 😛

Shot a gun? Guilty Pitchkaari (water gun) all the time for about a month during Holi 😀

Donated Blood? Guilty During a blood drive in college

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent Shantam Paapam..shub shub shub..

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty err..when one eats at a place called Cheesecake Factory, what does one expect. Not that they only have cheesecakes and not that I like them too much but they have some real awesome ones.

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent I would not let myself do something like that.

Have/had a tattoo? Guilty Those temporary ones, once during company picnic (they had a stall for it). And before you ask it was a dragon 🙂

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent Why not tell, the past is the past.

Been too honest? Guilty And lived to pay the price.

Ruined a surprise? Innocent I am real good at keeping a secret. Can keep a lid on most anything when I want to 😀

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty err..did I mention Cheesecake Factory above? Have you seen their portion size?

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty Not even sad about it.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty Like everyday. I mean I am forever in Jean and t-shirt 😛

Joined a pageant? Guilty Ragging and things they make one do. Fresher’s night had all the girls sashaying down the place, answering stupid questions 😦

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty D better be telling the truth on this one.. 😛

Had communication with your ex? Innocent Ex, what ex..??

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent One needs to drink to get drunk..right..?? This is so never happening.

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty Stupid college, makes you do crazy things.

Yay all done. Now it is time to rub my hand in glee and tag a few people..So I tag AmbulisAmma, BlueMist, Chatterbox, Geeta and SmartAssBride

I Love

My blog friends rock. Why you ask? Well if are asking.. read on. Go on..go..

Mr Bald Guy and Dido gave me the ‘Cup Cake’ badge.

 And I am suppose to write three things I love about myself. And am suppose to post a picture I love. And pass it on to 5 people. So let’s begin

  • I love my hair. It is versatile enough to go from ‘Tousled waves’ to ‘Sleek straight’ based on how much time or how little (read none at all) I spend on it after I wash them.
  • I love my life and where I am currently.
  • I love being a woman. Having the various shades of compassion, love, anger and everything in between. But most of all I love that I have it in me as a woman to carry another human inside and bring the said out safe and sound in this world.

The picture I love is my Gavatar so not posting another one here.

I would love to pass this badge on to BlueMist, Nu, NuttieRevs and Varsh

Varsh completed 50 posts and bestowed upon us loads of love, so please go wish her on the same. 

Thank you again, all of you for all your love and for making the blog world this wonderful place to be.