The Conversation

Don’t know when the thoughts started. I know it was not a sudden thing, but I became aware that I had started imagining a baby who had D’s nose and my eyes. That is not to say I did not snap at anyone who asked, when we were planning a baby. The when of having a baby had to be our decision and I was not ready to have anyone push us to make one. But one day I did realize I was ready. Having a baby was no longer something that was delegated to distant future..

The realization though not sudden still came as a shock. Me who was so focused on my career, the next promotion, getting ahead. I then started thinking of how a baby would affect my career and realized that for me my baby would come ahead of my career. Another shocker was the realization that I was ready to leave my job for my baby if it ever came to that..

I mulled over things for a while..sorting out my priorities..trying to be sure that this is what I really wanted. Once sure I spoke to D and in typical male fashion he started his W questions..Why a baby? Why now? So went the conversation. He was totally blindsided..had not expected this at all..

At the end of our conversation he said, ‘Am not ready yet..give me some time to think things through’.

Cut to 4 months later – D came back with ‘Let’s do it’ (Not that we did not have the conversation over again a few times but in the end he came around on his own) 🙂

Good News

We were visiting D’s family. They stay on the fourth floor in an apartment complex. We were heading out to go some place. D having left a few seconds before me was a floor below me, going down the stairs when a maid who used to work at their place when we got married was coming up.

M: Bhaiyaji Namaste

D: Namaste

M: Aap kaise ho?

D: Theek

M: Aur biwi bachchee kaise hein?

D: Biwi theek hei..bachchee abhi nahien hein..

M: Hain bachchee nahein hein? Shaadi ko to 4 saal ho gaye na..sab theek to hei..mein eak doctor ka naam bataati huin..

It has been quite some time since this conversation took place but I can’t forget the look on D’s face 🙂 . Having married as long as we had been then, I used to hear about..Kid or rather the lack of them.. ever so often. Never really from immediate family but all the Uncle and Aunties around. This was D’s first experience.

I came up with all sorts of stupid replies for this question overtime:

– I am still studying.

– Raising kids is super expensive so earning some money before the kids are born.

– Work is busy busy busy.

and then when all else fails

– I am ready, D is not. Why don’t you go talk to him?

I don’t understand why everyone in India is first ready to get you married and then soon after the wedding starts asking..Any good news..(the news in Good..we are happy together)..

If you don’t have a kid within two years of the wedding then there something wrong and no one ask guys any of these questions. It’s always the women who gets bombarded with them. Along with the suggestion that it’s in the girls hand, what do the guys know. Stop taking the pill..!!!..

Ah why..??..

The begining

Thoughts are so many, so finding a place to put them all. Will I actually put a lot them down? Well only time will tell. Starting with a pure heart and an open mind. Have ideas on what I want to put down in this space. Now have to find the time, the motivation and the words.

Here’s hoping the words flow as easily as the thoughts. This is for you sweet one.. Lots of love..Maa..