Don’t know when the thoughts started. I know it was not a sudden thing, but I became aware that I had started imagining a baby who had D’s nose and my eyes. That is not to say I did not snap at anyone who asked, when we were planning a baby. The when of having a baby had to be our decision and I was not ready to have anyone push us to make one. But one day I did realize I was ready. Having a baby was no longer something that was delegated to distant future..
The realization though not sudden still came as a shock. Me who was so focused on my career, the next promotion, getting ahead. I then started thinking of how a baby would affect my career and realized that for me my baby would come ahead of my career. Another shocker was the realization that I was ready to leave my job for my baby if it ever came to that..
I mulled over things for a while..sorting out my thoughts..my priorities..trying to be sure that this is what I really wanted. Once sure I spoke to D and in typical male fashion he started his W questions..Why a baby? When..now? Why now? So went the conversation. He was totally blindsided..had not expected this at all..
At the end of our conversation he said, ‘Am not ready yet..give me some time to think things through’.
Cut to 4 months later – D came back with ‘Let’s do it’ (Not that we did not have the conversation over again a few times but in the end he came around on his own) 🙂