Category: Life

Crossroad

Life, the biggest teacher,
So say all the learned.
Life full of choices endless,
So says boggled mind mine. 

Stood at one big crossroad,
Saw it coming miles away.
Decision made, not much thought put,
One step forward, Life laughs aloud. 

Looking back has become the norm,
Legs refuse to take another step.
Heart wants to run back, change directions,
Fog covers all, Life illuminates nothing. 

Head and heart, what a tussle,
No prize awaits no matter who wins.
Pros and cons, long tabulated list,
Precarious each choice, Life teaches balance. 

Respite comes in way of little smile,
Faith takes root with a wave of hand.
Love the balm to heal all,
Life, sprinkles hope in the mix.

What do you..

What do you see, when my face you look at..
Do you see my lips curved in a smile.
Or the furrow of my brows..
Or the worry in my eyes.

What do you hear, when my voice you hear
Do you hear the laugh.
Or the trepidation I feel..
Or the sob that I hold back.

What do you feel, when my hand you hold..
Do you feel the soothing touch.
Or the need to hold on tight
Or the desperation of my grip.

You do feel all of what I feel, don’t you..
And continue to hold on strong, just for me.
You do feel the heaviness in the heart, don’t you..
And still stand as my rock, weathering everything without a word.

Best laid plans

Tomorrow is a big day..a day which brings about a major change in our lives..a day I have thought about..planned for..chalked out every single detail about..for more than a year and a half now..

And as I make final preparations, my heart is heavy..my eyes fighting tears..my head refusing to have a single coherent thought..

11 or so hours to go..

Without wires

You see them as you walk down the street..as you drive..as you sit in a park. All the so-called wireless devices which have got us more connected to everyone than the wired devices themselves. We have gotten to a point that you can’t step out of the house and not see a person talking on the cell phone..or checking emails..or listening to music..or playing games on their phone..or watching a video..or getting directions..

I took Buzz to the park a few days back, since the sun was out. The place was filled with little kids..running around..playing..doing what little kids do, and all I saw were a handful of parents actually playing or even watching their little ones play. Most sat on the various benches doing something or the other on their cool new wireless devices, glancing once in a while to see what their kids were up to. And it left me wondering..with all the technological advancement..the always staying connected..aren’t we missing out on the actual day-to-day life of the people around us? Are we not getting so dependent on these phones or music players or whatever that we have forgotten what is it like to spend some me time?

Even relaxation now means watching a podcast..talking to someone..surfing the net. What happened to going for a walk and looking at the tree..smelling the flowers..watching kids play? What happened to curling up with a book and turning the pages..the rustle of the pages..letting your imagination sour with each word you read? I know the new PDA’s make reading a book easy, even on the go..but to me that somehow is not the same as when I hold a book in my hand..the the anticipation I have as I read the back cover..the smile I have when I open to the first page.

As I sit across this couple having lunch with the guy on his Blackberry and the gal on her iPhone, looking up to order what to eat and going back to their hand-held devices, I have this sadness that comes over me. This has what technology brought to us..the technology which is suppose to help us in always staying current on the going on..it has made us tune out the feelings, emotions that make us humans..it has made us become unaware of our surroundings..it has made us totally unconnected to the people around us. 

We are now more tied up in invisible wires of technology..than we ever were with the wired devices.

Strength to carry on..

My team moved offices a few months back, so my 10 minute commute, by foot, to work changed to 15 minutes commute, by car. But with family in town this month I am taking the shuttle to work so that they can have the car for going around at their convenience. And honestly I am having a blast. There is so much of life that you miss when you sit in your car and zip to and back from work.

Like a few days back, I was walking home from the shuttle stop and there was these two women, who had a toddler between them, waiting for the pedestrian light to go green. Owing to the below freezing temperatures, the toddler was all bundled up, barely able to walk. Well the light turned green. The women tried hurrying the little guy along to cross the busy intersection, but the poor guy would not walk fast enough, being unstable on his feet. So what did they do? Each women held one of his hands in their’s..shouted 1. 2. 3. Jump and made his jump forward and so they went propelling him forward at a fast pace. It was such a natural, impromptu action. So full with concern, so harmonious, so much trust. And it brought back memories of my childhood when my parents used to hurry me along in this very same manner, while I used to laugh aloud with glee, feeling totally safe and secure in my little world. I could not keep the grin off my face.

I wrote about another incidence a while back.

Today on my way to work, the song ‘Hero’ by ‘Mariah Carey’ came on, which goes something like:

There’s a hero if you look inside you heart..You don’t have to be afraid of what you are.

There’s an answer, if you reach into your soul, and the sorrow that you know will melt away.

And then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on..And you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive.

So when you feel like hope is gone..look inside you and be strong.

And you finally see the truth, that the hero lies in you

 It’s been a while since I heard this song. But there are so many memories attached to it, so many happy times, so many sad times attached to this one song.

The Good

  • 5 teenage friends getting down at the Churchgate station and making their way to Sterling theater to see ‘A Walk in the Clouds’..first day first show
  • Drooling at Keanu Reeves throughout the movie.
  • Walking down Marine Drive after the movie..remembering scenes from the movie..giggling like crazy..singing the song.

The Bad

  • The day, weeks, months after my parents dropped me at the hostel.
  • Feeling homesick, missing my parents, getting ragged.
  • Listening to this song on the Walkman in the dead of night, tears streaming down my face.
  • Promising myself, last time..will be strong from tomorrow.

This song is beautiful, powerful, inspirational and I want to dedicate it to a friend of mine who is going through a bad patch right now and to a couple of people whose blog I follow, to whom life is not being real good at this moment.

And while you guys listen drool over Keanu, I am going to enjoy my Shuttle ride..and enjoy every memory it brings..and I am promising myself to get out of my rut of listening to the same old hand full of hindi CDs that I own and start enjoying music again.

Balancing Equations

The basic unit of matter ‘atom’ needs to be balanced. If it is not so it either..donates..shares..or borrows excited electrons to get to a balanced molecular state. The balanced state being the state of harmony, where peace reigns, where everything is good in the world. Till there is no balance, the atom is searching..searching..searching..

Well similar is the case with us humans. We keep searching, are constantly on the lookout, till we find that special someone to share our lives with. Once we are reasonably certain about the person the molecule gets to a stable state.

But the game does not end there. The swapping of vows happens and then suddenly there are a few extra chemicals of accounts, budgeting, investment, cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, in-laws are thrown in to the mix. Suddenly the two of you are scrambling to balance this chemical equation. With chores..divided, time to do them..decided, repercussions of not doing them because you were lazing in front of the TV or snuggled with a book..faced, while also trying to find time to..be a couple.

D and I had this part down..worked hard on getting this part down. We were balanced when we decided we needed some more excitement..scrambling.. in our lives. So what did we do?? We had little Buzzu.. Now our little..ever growing..equation is all over the place. With two very hectic jobs, the want to spend as much time with Buzz, chores are being left on the back burner of life. And this is when my parents are around helping us out. Life is so going to be fun..not..when they head back home. But again that will be the time when we can truly start working on balancing our chemical equation we call family, because that is when some elements will be taken away from our current equation and a lot more added.

Am I dreading that time??..sure I am..but in a way looking forward to it as well because that is the state we have to live in..so that is the balance we need to find.. But do you hear me complain till then??..no way..I am enjoying every minute of the respite I receive.

Here’s hoping we find our balance soon after my parents leave. Fingers crossed.