Category: Growing up

Responsible

Dear Buzz,

Every month I think back to the month past and I am amazed at how much you have grown. Your actions, your activities, your questions – they take me by surprise every single time.

A few weekends back Bugz woke up in the morning and woke you up as well. You two walked in to our room but it was still early so you turned to Bugz and said “Mumma needs to sleep, let’s go down.” Unable to sleep knowing the two of you were alone, I walked down 10 or so minutes later to find the two of you sitting on your chairs on the deck eating strawberries. You looked up and said “I washed them before putting them in bowls Mumma.” I was speechless. Since then you seem to relish being the one to give Bugz her morning snack on weekends. I stay in bed listening to your conversations and smile. “Bugz what do you want to eat today?” you ask. She replies and you surprise me every time. Last Sunday I came down to see you two eating bread. You had gotten the packet of bread out of the fridge,  pulled a chair to put two slices in the toaster, gotten two plates out, waited for the bread slices to get toasted, applied butter to both of them. I was speechless is an understatement.

Early in the summer your class was a mix of kids from different grades. The older kids could do the monkey bars, you could hang from one bar but could not traverse. You worked on it every chance you got and a month later you were hanging off them, well like a monkey. You have blisters on your palms but you count them with pride and keep on with your monkey bars. Any visit to the park come with only one pre-requisite, it should have monkey bars.

You learned how to ride a bike last year but that was on a small bike. This year we got you a big girl bike. It is high, your feet barely touch the ground while you are on it, you haven’t really mastered the getting on the bike yourself part but you love ridding, especially when one of us takes out our bike and ride with you. The other thing you love is when your Paa and I go for a run and you ride alongside us. Excited, confident, you keep talking while the out of breadth us try to keep up with you.

Your Paa had dreamt a dream from I don’t even know when. You fulfilled part of it last winter when you skied alongside him. The other part came true last month when you climbed. We bought you a harness, fixed a rope on top of a rock wall and you climbed while your Paa belayed you. He gave you a little pull to move you a tad bit higher when you were totally stuck but for the most part your climbed up on your own. When you got to the top of that rock wall I could not make up my mind who I should focus on, your hand waving from the top or your Paa’s face radiating with pride.

You are processing everything you see and hear and are adding further layers to them. Your questions are getting more and more complicated to have straightforward answers. You understand that a doctor helps get a baby out of mommy’s tummy but now you wonder how the baby gets there in the first place. You asked me where did the first first first man come from and I reply with the easiest thing that comes to my mind, “they came from monkeys.” “Really? Really Mumma!” you asked over and over again and I thought we were done. The next day you came back with “Where did the first, very first living thing come from?” That you made the man to monkey to first living thing connect held me in shock. The next thought was”, how do I explain this?” Darwin’s theory of evolution here we come! You wanted to know “Is God for real, Mommy?” Unsure about how to answer, I replied, “Some people believe God is real and some people believe he is not.” You thought about that for a minute and asked “What do you believe, Mumma?”

Last year during the school year, your teachers taught you the concept of responsibility. They kept repeating that doing and bringing your homework back to school was the responsibility of every kid and not the parents. They told you that you had to be the ones to remind the parents when something was needed at school. They insisted that you had to remember to carry your own things home. “I am responsible!” you tell us constantly. Yes you are sweetheart and so grown up. Your insistence in helping me as I cook, the pride with which you tell everyone that you are the tallest kid in your class, your taking care of Bugz, your big hugs, your ever present smiles – I love it all and wish that  continue to grow beautifully. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay you. Always!

Love,
-Maa

Silly – redefined

“Mumma, help!” she calls from the bathroom. Wagging my finger, I step in.

“Aap silly ho,” she laughs.

“Kyoun?” I ask in mock horror.

“Because you do all the work,” she flashes her smile. “Silly bahut accha hota hei, mumma!” she continues.

Floored, mush, puddle.. call me whatever you like but I like her definition of silly 🙂

Baby no more

Dear Bugz,

When we were on our trip, we did not order a baby crib for you. We wanted to see how you would do with sleeping on a regular mattress. The first two nights you were unsure, always weary of change that you are. Your Didi, besides whom you were supposed to sleep, asked if you wanted to hold her hand as you slept. That calmed you down and for the next week that is how you fell asleep – holding Didi’s hand. Once we were back, you were so excited to see your crib but mean parent took it down the same night. You were so upset and only when you saw the new sheets atop your new mattress that you smiled. You still asked, “Why?” every time you saw your disassembled crib in the garage, till you realized the freedom of sleeping in a regular bed. Now we can hear you running around in your room way past bedtime.

You used to love your sippy-cup. You only got it during naptime and nini time but that was not something that you were willing to give up. We conveniently forgot to take them for our trip and in all the excitement you never really asked for it but that first night back you insisted on one. We had to do a complete search of all the places, till you were convinced they were not at home. Unhappy is a very mild word.

You were so excited to start school but then you had such a bad experience in the first couple of days in a play care, which has a two week stop gap between when S aunty left and we started our vacation, that the word ‘school’ caused you to panic. The first few days you started your actual school, were horrible. Your Paa and I watched our phones constantly, a nagging ache in our hearts. For the rest of the week, you cried at drop off but not after. Then this week, just second week in to your school, you jump in to your class, happy to see your teachers. You still don’t play with anyone, stay glued to Ms. H but not one tear and we can’t tell you how relived we are. We expected worse, has mentally prepared ourselves for much worse but you surprised us.

And then you have your little observations that make us burst out laughing. You try putting on your own clothes or shoes and get them wrong more times than right. You look up and gleefully tell us, ‘ulta pulta ho gaya!” You saw an recumbent bike the other day. Amazed you looked on, turned and told us, “nini kar ke cycle chala raha hei.” A lot of people come up to you to tell you that you are cute, mostly because of your mass of curly hair. Your Didi picked it up and call you cute ever so often. The other day as I was getting you ready after your swim and a shower, you looked at yourself in the mirror and exclaim, “Me kitna cute hai!” Yeah darling, as I laugh out, I agree you are so very cute.

Changes have come in fast for you -we got rid of your crib, we told you “Baby took your sippy-cup,” we started you in a new school and but for minor starting problems you have cruised through them all and through it all you have kept your spirit. Your loud laugh when you find something funny, your pout when you don’t like something, your scream when you are angry, your stubbornness to get your way, your way to get away with anything with Didi, your insistence that all my attention be yours – if anything you have turned the dial to extra high on all of these. You rule our world, make it go around and all we wish for you is that you continue to grow in to the child you are. Be happy, be healthy, be you sweetheart.

Love,
-Maa

 

 

 

Spin a yarn

Baby wolf wanted to play with the bad Papa.. Hansel and Gretel’s bad Papa..

Me: But in Hansel and Gretel, the mom is bad.

Noooo, baby wolf wanted to play with bad Papa!

Me: Ok, then?

Papa said “no!” so baby wolf got sad.. cry cry kiya baby wolf.. Bad Papa ran away. Then baby wolf was all alone 😥

Me: Did Mumma come then?

No, the baby was alone!

Me: OK

Then a baby squirrel came.

Me: Did they play together?

Haan, a little bit. Then the baby squirrel ate the baby wolf’s laptop

Me: Oh no!

Baby wolf shouted “NOOOOO!” Then baby squirrel got a tummy ache and started crying. Then mumma squirrel came, picked up baby squirrel and said “It’s OK!”

Me: Then

Then baby squirrel had to go potty. Then the tummy ache became better.

Me: Oh OK!

Then baby bird came. She said “chirp chirp chirp!” Baby squirrel wanted to play with baby bird but the baby bird flew away. Baby squirrel was sad 😦

Then baby wolf came back again and ate baby squirrel’s laptop. Mumma wolf came and scolded baby wolf.

Me: hmmm

Then baby wolf was sleepy so he went nini. Mumma gave baby wolf his blanket, his stuffed dog, his sippy cup and said “Now sleep! No talking!” Mumma gave a kissy and baby wolf went to sleep.

 

Uncertainty..changes..tears..looking ahead

I was to start back at work when Bugz was six months old. The transition did not worry me as much as it did the first time around with Buzz, but decisions still needed to be made and we decided that we wanted her to stay at home for a little while more before she went to a daycare or school. We started looking for a nanny, talked to more than a few over the phone, met 4 in person. I can’t pinpoint on what/why we settled on the nanny we did, call it instinct, call it a feeling, but looking back I can only be thankful for it. The love and care Bugz gets from S is unmatched. Bugz said, Bugz did, Bugz wants – this is what I walk home to everyday. Every interest of hers is taken care of, every dislike preempted. As a parent, while your heart swells up with love for you child, it also gives an extra tight squeeze when you see an outpour of love for him/her from someone else. I have lived with this feeling for over two years now and I still can’t find the right words to tell S what she has done for us.

Change of course has to come and as unbelievable as it sounds, Bugz starts school soon. S was involved in the entire process of finding the right fit of school for Bugz, applications, acceptance letters and when things were in place she booked tickets back to her home town for a long overdue visit before she started her next nanny job. We have all known the dates for 6 months now but as the numbers come down to single digits, the heart sinks a little. I come home to S holding Bugz a little tighter, her eyes moist and promises of phone calls. I look the other way as I blink away the tears. Goodbye were never my strong suite for a reason.

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Buzz is coming to the end to her school year and with it comes the next set of changes. She will be moving to a different branch of her current school due to a few different reasons. From a small, cozy 5 class rooms, all in one hallway school, where everyone knows everyone else, she is moving to 3 floor, six hallway, big school.

Her current school has been amazing for her. She has played and laughed and danced and performed and kicked a ball and skipped over rocks. She has made art and collected jewels from the yard and made friends and shared her toys, she has found ways to express herself and has grown in confidence.

The fact that she is moving to different branch of the same school, helps calm me down. I know the main core of the school is the same, I have loved the various focus points of the school and I know that is not going to change. A couple of teachers and a lot of kids from Buzz’s class are moving as well, which will help with transition big time. In all I am fairly relaxed about the move, but the fact that I walk in to her class with teary eyed teachers upsets me. How do you thank teachers that get so attached to your kids? How do you find words for all they have done for your kids?

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Re-orgs happened at works a few months back and a new project came online. It seemed interesting and I signed up for it. It was exciting and new and a great learning experience. As I was getting in the rhythm of things next set of re-orgs happened. Since I was committed to the first set of work, I was asked to continue till the end of June after which I transition the work to someone else. The first part is set to release by the end of the month and as I spend a lot of hours finishing as much as I can, I also prepare handoff documents for the person unknown to take over. There is a part of me who wants to see it to the end, but the practical part tells me, learning is done so move on. The silver lining of course is that I will be coming back to my original team and they are counting days.

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Momentum is building – bye bye S, yearend performance, bye bye school, deliver on work, bye bye project and it all ends with us getting on a plane for a vacation in the sun.

After all the anxieties of June we will welcome July with open arms for it brings calm along. Buzz and Bugz will be going to the same school, I will have my old team back, things will find a way to settle down again. Till then the countdown is on – 17 days to the vacation we have all been looking forward to.

High

Yesterday was spend skiing down slopes on a rainy still-winter-but-almost spring day, by Buzz and me, while D mourned this one broken ski, as he kept Bugz entertained through the day.

*digression* He was dressed and ready to go, putting things in the car when his ski broke and I quickly switched my skis with his and took Buzz *end digression*

A full day on the slopes and come nighttime Buzz was sleeping even as she walked up the stairs to her room. Bugz however having had a happy day and an extra-long nap, was bouncing off the walls.

D looked at her and said, “She is ready to ski off a black diamond right now, she is so high.”

“Me high? Me go high?” Bugz asked and then went on to climb the first rung of her crib.

“Look! me high, Papa!” she smiled as Papa laughed out loud looking at the little monkey he has at home.

Move over..

..Mini Van, we like Mazda now, because it sounds silly!

..Sunflower, we like Cherry Blossoms now, because they are so pretty!

..Rain, we like the Sun now, because we get to go out and play!

..Pink cake, we like Black Forest now, because it has cherries on top!

..Chocolate ice-cream, we like berry now, because it is yummy!

..China, we like Hungry now, because it is a funny name for a country!

..London, we like India now, because Nana lives there!