When I first started blogging – reading, writing, commenting was like caffeine – something I needed every single day, just to get through the day. I would blog hop and would sometime come to a blog that just touched my heart, I would read it from start to finish, wanting to know it all. And then wonder to myself why some people suddenly stop writing. They were brilliant, I wanted to read more, I wanted to find them and make them write some more.
My own writing was mostly about putting my thoughts down but number of hits, number of comments can be addictive, even when I questioned why someone would want to read about walking, taking stories of a little girl (at that time). Over time, of course, realization came that the comments were to some extend a back scratching exercise. You read my blog, I will read yours. I started relaxing after that. Numbers stopped being of much concern. What was important was my thoughts and how I gave them words.
There was something exciting about writing – sometimes healing, sometimes a release, sometimes pure joy. I used to formulate post after post in my head and would start writing as soon as I could. Then more and more things started happening in life and time kept on dwindling. Writing kept left behind in the process. Things changed again and time really was not much of an issue anymore, but the inner drive to write, or to do anything at all, was lost. There were a number of times when I would think of writing and then just give up. I call that time my time, I needed to unwind, desperately; I needed to just be and that is what I did. I wanted no one, no thing to put any demand on my hours to myself. I did not want to think, I did not want to do, some days I did not even want to move – so that is exactly what I did.
Cut to present – I feel like spring is upon me, the period of hibernation is over. I itch to do, to start moving forward again. While I was still formulating all this, processing where I was at – something happened on my blog. Someone new came to my blog and started reading it, one post at a time. I don’t know who, I don’t know from where, I don’t know why, all I saw were the clicks. With every click this person made, I made them too.
I read my words the day Maa passed away, I read about Buzz’s question for the future, I read about Bugz stubbornness of days past, I read about fights and making up with D. And I remembered – I remembered how I felt; I smiled; I cried; I remembered why I started this place all those years back.
So here I am to start over again. There is so much more I want to capture, there are so many more words I have left to write. Let’s start then!