Just as we are – Buzz

This couple, friends of our, came to visit us when Buzz was but a week old. As they sighed over the baby, the guy looked at me and said, ‘Don’t stress too much over them meeting milestones. Don’t stress too much over where other kids are and where she is. They all catch up. At one point they all master the skills that need to be mastered and they are more or less at the same place.’

That, to me, was the best parenting advice I ever received. I tried following it, somewhat successfully, with Buzz and now with Bugz. I slip ever so often, but then I remind myself to step back. They are kids, they can’t be forced, should not be forced, in to doing things they don’t like just because other kids are doing them.

But and this is big but – I am a parent, an Indian parent at that. Education and competition in school is in my DNA.

Buzz goes to this school which she loves and I love. They have a good mix of letting kids explore on their own and teaching. Buzz thrives there. Last year her teachers would ask me, what I did at home to help Buzz learn. I would shrug and say, ‘nothing’. She picked everything she needed to at school, I heard no complains from her teachers, so I let home be her time, to do what she liked. If she did not know her months in a year in the correct order, I was OK with that. I knew she would pick it up at some point.

Summer school came. While kids got enrolled in reading classes and abacus outside of school, I let her play. I figured she goes to this great school, the focus would be on reading and Math skills anyways, why not let her enjoy her summer?

Now school is in full steam. Buzz gets her sight words, her decodable to read, her math facts to memorize. Homework is due every Monday where they are quizzed on all of the above and the competitive mom rears her ugly head. I sit with her every evening trying to get her to remember, trying to get her to read and my heart breaks a little everyday. I know, she is learning, it is important but I am taking away her time to play and I hate that. She is a kid and she gets distracted, a few things she finds hard and she does not want to do them, every once in a while she does not want to do any of that – and I push her. ‘A little bit more, I tell her.’ I understand that this is important but I wonder to myself, ‘so what if she does not remember it this week, she will remember it the week after and that is OK right?’ And yet, I push her. I get caught between teaching her not to give up and letting a child be.

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Buzz is starting to read little by little and she is enjoying it. As I read to her in the evening she tells me, ‘Go slow Mumma. I want to read the words I know before you.’

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She also loves reading to Bugz. ‘Bugz do you want Didi to read a book to you?’ she asks. She mostly knows the books by heart so she half reads and half tells the story from memory but it keeps the two of them very happy.

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‘Why do I have to read the decodable, Mumma?’ she asks. ‘So that you can start reading books like I do,’ I tell her.

‘But you only look at books, you don’t ready them.’

‘I do read books, have you not seen?’

‘No voice comes when you sit with the books, you only look at them.’

And I am lost on how to explain!!!

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Buzz is a super protective elder sister. No one can say anything to Bugz. And she will do just about anything to keep Bugz out of trouble.

‘Bugz, you are Didi’s best friends, right?’ she is heard asking several times a day.

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Buzz is very easy to cry. An emotional kid, she has a meltdown at everything – someone refusing to play with her, Bugz not sharing a toy with her, threats of timeouts, Papa not being in town, the fact that she is getting late for school. Honestly there is no rhyme or a rhythm to it.

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She is currently super excited about her birthday (which is months away).

I want cupcake for my birthday.
No I want ice-cream.
Can I wear my long dress to school?
I want to wear my Halloween costume.
Can I get juice on my birthday?
I want Nana to come for my birthday.
No, not on Skype Nana, I want you here!

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Planning in advance, Nana asked her what she wanted for her birthday

‘A candle’

Surprised, Nana asked her if she wanted anything else?

‘A balloon’

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Buzz is a very loving child. Hugs and kisses and ILoveYous we get by the dozen every day.

One a day a very worried D asked, ‘What will happen to her when she grows up?’

I told him to enjoy it all while it lasted, it will all dry up once she gets a little older.

‘That is what I am worried about, she will give to someone else,’ came the reply in a very sad voice.

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Every evening she runs to her old class and hugs her teacher Ms. W. Now it is well known in the entire school and people guide her to Ms, W if she is not in her class, without even asking.

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She loves to dress up. Shoes, dresses, hair clips – she is in to it all.

‘Ms. A/Ms. J, what will we wear for our winter performance?’ she would ask them while the other kids were not even interested in practicing the dance moves.

‘Can we please wear a dress for the performance? Something which has a lot of sparkles in it?’

‘What shoes do we have to wear with our dress?’

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One evening when we went to hug Ms. W, she was making ribbon bows for the girls in her class, for the winter performance.

Buzz’s face feel. ‘Can I have one,’ she asked. I told her that the bows were for the younger kids and I would make one for her.

She hounded me no end till I bought all the necessary things and made a few for her. Now she goes and shows the various types to Ms. W every time she gets to wear the hair-clips to school.

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She is looking forward to the P Mama’s wedding in India next year and has her demands ready.

Chotti Nani has to make paranthas for her every morning.
I need to buy a new long dress (lehnga) for her.
She want to apply mehndi on her hands since I had them for my wedding (she just came across my wedding pictures and has been asking about everything)

We haven’t gotten to the jewelry part of the program but I bet it is coming soon.

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She is greatly influenced by the kids in school.

‘I don’t want to wear jeans because only boys wear them.’
‘I like the color pink because it is every girls favorite color.’

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And that is a wrap for all things Buzz for the year 2013 🙂

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17 thoughts on “Just as we are – Buzz

  1. Buzz is sucha asweetie pie. So the dad is already worried the hugs, kisses and ILU’s are going to be someone else’s share. Dads i tell ya. Same happens at home. Tell me about the over protective part, the younger ones listen to the elder ones as well, even when they shut their ears against us. Pat your back, all credits go to you and D for raising such a wonderful kiddo.

  2. I really dont know where to start commenting..first give that Buzz Didi a BEEEGGGG hug from this maasi in Mumbai..I wish I could get her the lehenga and the bangles and pink clips :):)

    About that academic competition 😦 Dont ask Comfy, I could do an entire post honestly..you know I think its easier abroad than in India..R has so much do to by rote that I really dont think she is understanding anything..I try to teach her at a slower pace but she is this really impatient girl and just doesnt wait to hear out..and then making her study for her exams (they start next week!) yesterday RD told me that she will start hating school if I continue to tutor her like this, but honestly there is so much to do that if I dont take it one day at a time, she wont go through everything thats taught..and I am talking about a SENIOR KG child :(:( I have started seriously disliking the education system in India 😦

    okay, long comment, I will stop..just give my big cuddles to the super didi and her lovely sis 🙂

  3. Such an aww post! Loved the Buzz special update, since she has been sharing the limelight with Bugz for a while.
    I love the whole sibling situation! They must be so so adorable to watch together 🙂
    Hugs to Buzz!

  4. Comfy, I don’t know when ever I read about Buzz I can’t stop but be amazed how much alike Chucky and Buzz are. I want to copy paste this post in my blog and rename Buzz with Chucky.

    Reading , I feel the same heat now that she is growing, I feel guilty for not helping her at home. In her class, kids are very advanced, some four years in her class can read level 4-5 effortlessly. When she comes home and says so and so girl is smart because she can read, can you teach me how to read mamma,I also want to be smart . My heart breaks into pieces. I told her she is smart in her own ways. I wish we didn’t have this competition .

    Chucky is also reading and I feel she is doing great for a 4 year old. My husband was talking to his colleague who’s daughter is just joined medicine. The advice he gave to R was he never pushed her into anything and she has grown to be a confident person . I think that’s more important than studies, we should let our children to be confident in what ever they are doing. Rest all will fall in place.

    Chucky is emotional, she tells me everything that happens in her class and if her best friend didn’t play with her she gets upset. Some days she says she had a bad day because her friend didn’t come to school or the friend didn’t play with her.

    She has to hug her teacher as soon as she is in the class.

    R and I had a similar conversation and he being sad that he can’t be her Prince and BF forever. My boss ask her who her BF is and she says its daddy.

    Dressing up , on my god Chuky is so much into it. I am never into that, I just do my hair and that’s pretty much it. I think kids learn these things from school.

    Like I said if we swap these two kids you will not notice the difference , they sound so much alike 🙂

    Reminds me its been ages I did a Chucky post.

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