We as parents often times over do the whole parenting thing; they should learn this, they should be protected from that, they should not eat this, they should not watch that, they are too young for this, they are too old for that; kids do fine and grow up just fine till we get the basics rights. We all did too.
I look all around me – people from different countries, different backgrounds, different economic status growing up – all good humans beings. And I think to myself that yes I am over doing it all, over thinking it all. I need to take a long breath, exhale and trust that I will not mess it up, my kids will grow up fine, just like we all did.
this reminded me one of Natasha’s post. http://www.livemint.com/Leisure/JDouegh2LjPTIaMCFll0zI/How-not-to-raise-children.html
unlearning is the key.
Thank You so much for this Misty. Loved reading the post. 🙂
It’s a tough call to make – where to draw the line 🙂 You are not alone…
Yup, I am not alone. And am working on learning where the draw the line or how dark to draw it 🙂
You darling Comfy, are a very very wise lady…and oh you know that dont you 🙂
Me? Wise? The quote in not mine. A friend told me this, I just put it here so that I remember 🙂
Wise words, indeed. 🙂
I am constantly amazed to read about how today’s parents are so involved in their parenting, so conscious of whether they are doing it right. In our mothers’ and fathers’ generation, I doubt they discussed this so much. Parenting just happened – there were squabbles and mistakes, but yes, we did grow up all right majorly.
I think our parents did discuss it a lot. The issue is that with social media (FB, Blogs, Twitter) it is more known (more in your face may be) and hence there is more discussion about it and more people are involved in the said discussion other than just the parents.
I agree with you. My mother never complained if our father wasn’t around for us and did what she thought was right. There was no stress if some deadline wasn’t met or something wasn’t done. Nowadays both parents are expected to be around and it is more of a duty :(.
There are more ways to know what good parenting is. but yet we’re not able to make our kids love and respect us the way our parents did for us, right? Its best if we don’t feel guilty for going wrong. We’re not superhumans. We make mistakes. It is ok. Just let them be.
Varsh, I somewhat disagree. I think our mothers did complain, as in talk to the neighbor aunty on how the kids were not doing xyz and that dad were not in town. But it was not as in your face as these days but that is more an effect of blogs and FB. There are updates and posts about every issue we have and how much trouble the kids cause.
The other thing I guess is the expectations are a little different these days. In our parents time there was a clear demarcation of work for most couples – Dad went to work, Mom took care of the house. Now when both the Mom and Dad go to work there is a balance that needs to be found as far as taking care of the house and kids. You can’t overload one person with all the work.
We do all make mistakes but I do agree with you that we expect too much out of ourselves and we need to let go and let the kids be.
well said Comfy.. its better not to over-do.. well said..
I am learning for a friend Ani. Hopefully I will remember it too. 🙂
Well said and what I have seen from my personal experience is its helps kids to grow in their natural way. After all best thing we can give to our children is to give them a beautiful childhood, I am sure they will grow just all good.
Exactly LF! They will grow up well, be just need to let them grow 🙂
How true! I have people telling me all the time…let him be alone…let him fall down…let him get sick…let him get into a fight…that’s how he’ll become tough. Mothers have this need to protect their children from anything unpleasant, but we don’t realise that they need to learn to fly in this world on their own, carve their own path. If we don’t let them develop early they’ll probably be just as clones…not individuals.
True, every word you said. I need to hear this over and over and let the kids be their own being. Sigh!!
‘I need to take a long breath, exhale and trust that I will not mess it up, my kids will grow up fine, just like we all did.’ Exactly!! Its an affirmation we need to make time and again..
My thoughts were somewhat on the lines of the quote after reading a few posts about rhymes, fairy tales and esp your post on raising girls.
Glad that you came across this and put it here Comfy! Thanks 🙂
I am glad too Priya 🙂