Me, Myself and I

I stood in front of my wardrobe and could not find one thing I was happy wearing. There were old worn out T-shirts, a few button down shirts, a handful of sweaters and my beat up pair of jeans.

First there was the get fit drive I was on, then came the *let’s try and have a baby* phase, which was followed by buying a few maternity clothes for obvious reasons, the trying to lose baby weight and gloating in being able to fit in to pre-maternity clothes, getting pregnant again (and reusing clothes from the last time), trying to lose weight again and realizing that it ain’t gonna happen, all came in order. In all of this the ever practical side refused clothes shopping for years at end.

A look at my wardrobe almost had me in tears. In between taking care of the kids, my job, the house – I had let a part of myself go. I think I did (and still do) an OK to decent job at it all as I put all my time and energy in taking care of things. What I forgot to take the time out for was myself or was too tired to do anything about it. Clothes were just a trigger.

I spent the next couple of months re-building my wardrobe. Old clothes, that I did not want to wear anymore, were kept aside, drawers were cleaned, new things were bought, closet was organized. I smile every morning now as I see hues of blue and green and orange and purple and yellow and red peep at me as I open the doors of my closet.

Shoes were my first love. Growing up there were three pair of shoes that were bought every year – a black one and a white one for school and a pair for social outings. I used to look and carefully pick the social outing one. That was the special pair after all.

I used to look forward to growing up and getting to wear heels but as I grew up and gained my full height they became a no-no. Not because I did not want them but because I had friends who were not as tall and they would refuse to walk next to me if I wore heels. I lived my college days in jootis (that I love them is beside the point here) while all my friends wore heels.

Side Note: The first thing I bought when I started my wedding shopping was a pair of heels. Aah, the joys of having a partner who is tall!

Being pregnant and running after kids changed the game again. Flats were in order, stupid practical side rearing its head again. I would look wishfully at women around me wearing beautiful shoes and would think to myself ‘If only they did not have heels’. Winter season coming along did not help one bit, the various beautiful boots and booties even more so. Sigh!

I was out this weekend with the kids to a store to buy a few things for them when I crossed their shoe section. There was this pair of booties that caught my eyes. As a shoe lover, I have to say, they were beautiful. I stopped in my tracks.

‘Heels’, the practical side said.
‘Oh, live a little’, the evil side said.

Buzz was running in one direction exploring things. Bugz wanted to be picked up. As I scrambled to catch hold of Buzz and tried to reason with Bugz to keep sitting in the stroller, I grabbed a box for my size and ran along to finish the shopping I was there for.

Just the thought of the booties sitting downstairs waiting for me has kept me smiling since. Today I took them out of their box and wore them to work. And it hit me, THE HEELS. It has been forever since I wore any and these are not the 3″ ones that I can wear comfortably. They do look real good though.

‘Return them’, the practical side says.
‘Oh give them a shot, you will get used to them’, the evil side says.
‘Keep them for special occasions. Plus you still are shorted than me so who cares’, smiling D says.

I will indulge, me thinks.
A little something for Me.
Continuing the thought of doing things for Myself.
Remembering there is more to it, the bit called I.