Me, Myself and I

I stood in front of my wardrobe and could not find one thing I was happy wearing. There were old worn out T-shirts, a few button down shirts, a handful of sweaters and my beat up pair of jeans.

First there was the get fit drive I was on, then came the *let’s try and have a baby* phase, which was followed by buying a few maternity clothes for obvious reasons, the trying to lose baby weight and gloating in being able to fit in to pre-maternity clothes, getting pregnant again (and reusing clothes from the last time), trying to lose weight again and realizing that it ain’t gonna happen, all came in order. In all of this the ever practical side refused clothes shopping for years at end.

A look at my wardrobe almost had me in tears. In between taking care of the kids, my job, the house – I had let a part of myself go. I think I did (and still do) an OK to decent job at it all as I put all my time and energy in taking care of things. What I forgot to take the time out for was myself or was too tired to do anything about it. Clothes were just a trigger.

I spent the next couple of months re-building my wardrobe. Old clothes, that I did not want to wear anymore, were kept aside, drawers were cleaned, new things were bought, closet was organized. I smile every morning now as I see hues of blue and green and orange and purple and yellow and red peep at me as I open the doors of my closet.

Shoes were my first love. Growing up there were three pair of shoes that were bought every year – a black one and a white one for school and a pair for social outings. I used to look and carefully pick the social outing one. That was the special pair after all.

I used to look forward to growing up and getting to wear heels but as I grew up and gained my full height they became a no-no. Not because I did not want them but because I had friends who were not as tall and they would refuse to walk next to me if I wore heels. I lived my college days in jootis (that I love them is beside the point here) while all my friends wore heels.

Side Note: The first thing I bought when I started my wedding shopping was a pair of heels. Aah, the joys of having a partner who is tall!

Being pregnant and running after kids changed the game again. Flats were in order, stupid practical side rearing its head again. I would look wishfully at women around me wearing beautiful shoes and would think to myself ‘If only they did not have heels’. Winter season coming along did not help one bit, the various beautiful boots and booties even more so. Sigh!

I was out this weekend with the kids to a store to buy a few things for them when I crossed their shoe section. There was this pair of booties that caught my eyes. As a shoe lover, I have to say, they were beautiful. I stopped in my tracks.

‘Heels’, the practical side said.
‘Oh, live a little’, the evil side said.

Buzz was running in one direction exploring things. Bugz wanted to be picked up. As I scrambled to catch hold of Buzz and tried to reason with Bugz to keep sitting in the stroller, I grabbed a box for my size and ran along to finish the shopping I was there for.

Just the thought of the booties sitting downstairs waiting for me has kept me smiling since. Today I took them out of their box and wore them to work. And it hit me, THE HEELS. It has been forever since I wore any and these are not the 3″ ones that I can wear comfortably. They do look real good though.

‘Return them’, the practical side says.
‘Oh give them a shot, you will get used to them’, the evil side says.
‘Keep them for special occasions. Plus you still are shorted than me so who cares’, smiling D says.

I will indulge, me thinks.
A little something for Me.
Continuing the thought of doing things for Myself.
Remembering there is more to it, the bit called I.

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31 thoughts on “Me, Myself and I

  1. Oh la la…a post about shoes! 😛 I stopped wearing heels after marriage because I married a guy who thinks walking and more walking is the only solution to everything in life; if he is happy, we walk, if I am sad, we walk. We hike to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and we walk up and down the corridors of the hospital for a million times to digest the news that we are having twins 🙄

    There was a time I used to wear gorgeous heels and now I have realized that I can hardly stand up in heels 😥

    Ps: No pics of the closet or the shoes?? 😦

    1. What about the time when he is away? Wear heels while you play with the twins or go to pick up the elder brother from school. A fellow shoe lover not having heels is just wrong on so many levels.
      Go go buy a pair, I say. 🙂

  2. Such is the thing na, two kids and in the process we forget ourselves. Same happens with me just that it took more time for me to really introspect. Still the practical side keeps on telling me not to indulge.

  3. Thats amazing Comfy..that you went ahead and bought it..after kids we often dont indulge na 🙂

    LOL on D telling you to take it because you will still not be taller than him 🙂

    I remember that black shoes white shoes and colour shoes so well 🙂

    and oh! I can never wear heels ever!

  4. You write so real, Comfy. I loved the mention of all the lovely colors in your closet and as a shoe- lover who is also tall, I know what you mean by not wearing heels as often as you wish to (and to think there are no kids in my picture!). Those booties sound lovely, I hope you put them to good use this winter.

  5. All I can wear for some more time are Dr.Scholl’s 🙂 but ya, I did go ahead and shop for some good flats to keep me happy, though i have not got a chance to wear them till now 😛
    Show us the shoes Comfy 😉

  6. Don’t want to sound preachy but we women keep always on backseat but husband, kids, home are always on priority list then ourselves. So you deserve every bit of indulgence. so very well deserved 🙂

  7. that’s so nice that you have indulged yourself.. I can never never wear heels 😦 ‘coz of my back pain problems.. but whenever we visit a store Adi always insists me to try the heels for at least few mins and walk before her.. this girl has this as a habit now.. 🙂 have a good weekend..

  8. This is a surprise post – where Comfy talks about indulging and shoes! 😀

    * ok, that just shows how much you have neglected pampering yourself, so please do *

    I own a dozen pairs of footwear ( shoes, sandals, heels, no-heels , boots) , bought in moments when I was so sure I’ll use them. But, the only ones that get used ( and over used) are a pair of shoes for regular wear and another for hiking. Sad. I’m bringing my boots out tonight. Let them just sit there and remind me to pick them.

    Thanks for the inspiration dear 🙂

    1. Your, “I’m bringing my boots out tonight. Let them just sit there and remind me to pick them.” reminded me of a video I saw a while back. Go watch and then pick those poor boots, they are waiting 🙂

  9. Ah shoes, my first love 🙂 I used to wear 4 inchers and more in college and still be super comfy (well for the most part 😛 ). And now, I don’t seem to be able to carry off even 2 inch heels 😦 My advice to you – keep them and flaunt them while you can 😀

    1. I am keeping them. I am, I am. 😀

      No no, you can’t give up on me. Get your highest heels out I say and start walking. You will get comfortable again. Go go, get them out. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by D 🙂

  10. How Lovely Comfy!
    I personally dont love shoes and am happiest with my flats but I totally get what you mean.
    My favorite part is where you talk about the pretty colors peeping out when you open your closet.

    Lots of love.

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