Seeing is believing

Aaj C ke papa aaye thy Mystery Reader ban ke. Aap to kabhi nahien aate. (C’s dad came today as Mystery Reader. You never come.)

She told me sometime last week. This Monday she got in to the car,

Aaj party thi. Kuch friends ke parents fruits le ke aaye thy. Aap to kuch nahien laate. (We had a party today. Parents of some of my friends got fruits for the party. You never get anything.)

Buzz’s class has various small events every now and then that the parents volunteer for. There are different things to bring like food, decoration, games etc. Then there are activities where you give your time like reading to them, helping them during nature walks, decorating the classroom for various festivals. Given that D and I work on tight schedules between dropping and picking Buzz off and getting home on time for Bugz, taking time off from work frequently to be part of the activities in person gets very difficult for us. Hence we mostly sign up for things to bring, hand offs of which happens without Buzz being aware. For activities that do require giving our time, we pick those that we can work on off hour rather than during work hours. Like there were sign-up sheets for various activities, most of which required about 6 hours of parents time during the academic year. I signed up for the only activity that requires 20 hours of parents time because most of that task required working off regular hours.

Buzz of course does not understand any of this. For her it is a simple matter of someone or the other’s parent comes to read to them every week but neither D nor I do. Some of her friends’ parents come with fresh fruit plates minutes before the party but her parents don’t.

Today was a Halloween Party at her school where the kids were to go Trick or Treating to the close by businesses. Parents were asked to volunteer to help out with taking the kids. The idea was to have at least a ratio of 1:2 (parent:child). I saw the sign-up sheet get filled every day and soon came to realize that we would have a teary Buzz on our hands if one of us did not go with her when most of her friends’ parents would be going along.

I juggled a couple of meeting and promised to make up for work later in the night. As I was getting her dressed I told her how I would go to school with her and spend some time there with her. A super excited Buzz walked in to her class, got busy showing off her costume and admiring everyone else’s costume, forgetting all about me. While she was busy with her friends, I found a quiet corner in her class, sat down and got busy with my work emails in the 15 or so minutes I had till the party started. Buzz came running to me suddenly, sat in my lap and refused to get up. As she turned her face to me, I saw tears in her eyes.

Mujhe laga aap chale gaye. (I thought you had left)

she said. I reassured her, I was not going anywhere, and hugged her. She sat in my lap till it was time to go.

Every now and then, as we walked to the various places, picked up candy, said our ‘thank yous’, showed off her costume, she looked at one of her friend who was holding my other hand, tugged my hand  and said,

Aap mere saath aaye ho? (You came with me?)

Smile never left her face the entire hour long walk. Simple joys of a child. Checks and balances of life.

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30 thoughts on “Seeing is believing

  1. Sigh! occupational hazards of being working parents na 😦 I have this so often…uski mummy usko school mein lene aati hai, aap kyun nahi aate…

    uski mummy aaj bus stop mein ayi thi..mereko koi nahi leta bus stop mein, mujhe khud se daycare jana padta hai 😦

    Glad you could take out time for Buzz…guess that would have made her day na 🙂

    and oh Comfy! Big hugs to you theek hai?

  2. ok.. now i see the the threats ahead with bunty.. at times it becomes so difficult for us to manage work and kids na.. hugs to little darling.. thought i like the idea of involving parents with kids’ school activity, but wonder how parents mange in spite of their busy schedule.. hats off to them..

    1. Parents being involved in school is great for the kids. They love it and it makes them very happy. But it gets real hard for the parents at times. Then again we all do things that brings a smile on our kids’ faces right? 🙂

  3. Working mothers have it so much more difficult than home makers in this regard. I will be facing this someday.

    Good to know that you could take out this day for Buzz. Maybe you and hubby could balance it out on the other days … making sure you attend classes for one party every few months (or something like that) ?

    1. We do juggle things and try and make it to the school events ever so often, but it is difficult for kids to understand timelines and how long it has been since their parents came for something or the other. Most kids in Buzz’s class apparently have similar issues. They see someone or other’s parent come couple of days a week but their own parent comes once a month. Joy of rotation and the way kids perceive it 🙂

  4. 😦 😦 Oh man. That would be heart breaking , if the baby feels that we are not doing enough. And I will get there soon. Let’s see, all these experiences I read about may help 🙂

  5. That was a tough call, but am soooooo happy that you decided to attend the party with Buzz 😀
    I can imagine how super excited and happy you both must have been 🙂

  6. BLess her.. I guess parents have got so busy .. but then saying that I also have a dime ot pick with my parents this reminds , they never came to my school too 😦 .. they always went to my sisters school hmmmpfffffff

    let me ring my mum and ask her why 🙂 …

    Comfy the little things that make the kids happy , WELL DONE to mommy 🙂

  7. Hugs! For a long time Cheebu thought that all mothers leave their kids at daycare and go to work It was only when she started school that she realized that there are “mummy children (children whose mummies pick them up from school)” too. And then the questions started… mujhe bhi mummy children banana hai … sigh! She is happy most times at her daycare … but becoming a mummy children one day unexpectedly does being a huge smile on her face 🙂

  8. Hugs dear, I go through similar dilemma, Chucky hasn’t questioned me yet. Her new school requires lot of volunteers and I am always the last one to sign for. What a precious moment you had with Buzz, I hope you get many more beautiful days like this.

    1. Volunteering is a big part of school education here but it gets difficult for parents at times. Hope you are able to deal with it all around Chucky. Hugs!

  9. Comfy..Oh Comfy..Thank you for making my monotonous work day so very special today!

    I know I missed quite a few posts recently and went back read them all in one go. My head is not heavy today..feels light and happy at work – I know why 🙂 Thank you for such beautiful Bugz/Buzz stories..Oh and that one lunch date wala too.

    “Simple Joys..Checks and balances of life” – That’s my take away for the day.

    {{hugs}}

  10. “As she turned her face to me, I saw tears in her eyes. Mujhe laga aap chale gaye” brings tears to everybody’s eyes… Sigh… sometimes working mom has lot of tough times and innocence to answer

        1. Oh your own guilt! Mommy guilt is always there and never goes. That you get used to or try to. But when your kid starts making puppy faces and saying that you are never there for them is when it starts to get real bad.

  11. This post made me cry. Growing up with two working parents, this was the story of our life too! That said, my dad and mum made it a point to try to make it to as many events as possible (though understandably, much lesser than what a lot of other parents, with more time on their hands could manage). Everytime mum or dad turned up at school, it made everything so special, so I can totally understand Buzz’s happiness. And the innocence of the ‘aap mere saath aaye ho’ was completely heart- breaking. Give her a hug from me please.

    1. R, I can so understand. D and I try and make it to as many events as we can but how do you explain that to a kid? She still talks about it everytime we cross the places we visited that day. Will pass on the hug for sure. 🙂

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