While no one was watching

Dear Bugz,

‘Was she always this cute’, your A Maama asked. While your Didi is awake she takes all the attention. She talks, she runs, she laughs and she makes everyone around her laugh. You are forgotten in all the noise. I am not saying you don’t have your way of being heard. Your cry can be heard at least 3 houses down. But as you sleep your day away, you don’t get much attention. Then you open your eyes just as your Didi sleeps and you start to talk and you start to play. Your hands pump and your legs don’t stop moving. Suddenly people notice you and are surprised at how utterly adorable you are.

I know every mom says this but I think you have the most beautiful smile. It lights up your entire face. This in turn makes everyone who sees it smile. But what makes us all laugh is that you flash it even in the middle of a crying session. It is as if you can’t control yourself and just have to smile when you see someone smile at you. And then when you think something is really funny you chuckle. A real from your belly chuckle and that just cracks us all up.

If you are well fed and your diaper is changed you can play on your mat and in your bouncer for over an hour. All we need to do is pick you up every 15 or so minutes and keep you upright for a few minutes so that your acid reflux does not act up. But no matter how happy you are playing by yourself, you get so excited when you see one of you coming close to you. You start kicking your legs super-fast and give your best smile. After all nothing beats being picked up and held close.

As much as I have been a mom before and as much as everyone including me thinks – been there, done that, there are so many things I had forgotten about having a baby. In all the diaper changes that came as your Didi grew up, I forgot all about the sweet baby smell. Your Didi developed a bad case of dry skin when she was 2 months old and taking care of it for months and months made me forget how soft baby skin is. This time I want to remember all this and not forget. I hold you close, I bury my nose in your neck and inhale big. I kiss your cute little cheek, somehow always your left one which makes me worry that your right one will get upset at the discrimination and then I try my best to even it out. I can’t have either of the two angry at me, now can I?

Everyone looks at you and tell me that you look just like me. And I go awww, I must have been one seriously cute baby. Oh sorry! This is about you. I watch you day in, day out and still as I watch you sleep it hits me how much you have changed from the day I brought you home. You have grown so much.

Buzz is my first baby. The first one I felt move inside me. The first one I held in my arms. The first baby weight I felt. The first one I loved. But you are my last. I will never carry another one or feel another kick or hiccup inside (cross my fingers here that we have no accident, oh please God not that). And that makes you as special as the first one. Love you like crazy sweetheart, through endless sleepless nights and never-ending diaper changes. With that love in my heart all I can wish for you is – stay healthy, stay happy, stay you.

Loads of love,

56 thoughts on “While no one was watching

  1. OH how my heart melts every time I read about one of these little babies of yours, Comfy! Give Bugz many many many kisses on my behalf ok? And for Buzz too! And a big hug for their Maa 🙂

  2. Awwww….after reading your post I feel like A Jr should have a sibling real quick!! Just kidding 😛
    I know…we say the first kid is always special, but aren’t all kids just as much? I remember my mother tell me that there were times and things that she didn’t know about when she had me, but having known it, it helped her a lot when she had my younger brother. I guess the second time around we’re better prepared and are a bit more relaxed, isn’t it?? 🙂
    Bugz is such a darling!! I’m sure very soon she’s going to be a big competition to Buzz when it comes to attracting attention. You in turn should be happy since both your daughters will take away the show 😀 😀
    Give both of them loads of hugs from me!! 🙂 🙂

    1. You definitely are more relaxed. Don’t know about better prepared. I mean they come up with new set of challenges. But you don’t stress about them as much. 🙂

  3. Errr…if I have another baby, we all know whom to point at right 😉

    hugs hugs hugs to Bugz n Buzz…

    wait, did I just read that she plays for AN HOUR without any problem…Comfy babes you are one lucky gal *thoo, thoo, kala tikka on that okie?*

    1. err.. why are you looking for bahaanas RM. We already know that R has put her case across 😛

      BUT BUT she does not sleep for even an hour at a stretch, day or night. You still think I am lucky?

  4. Kaala Tikka on this post. Bugz makes me want to have a baby right now (never mind that I am not even married yet!). Lots of love to her.
    And you have a wonderful way with words, Comfy! 🙂

  5. I loved this post..specially the last paragraph… I can relate to that very well (not that baby is here) but I get the same feelings 🙂

    Lots of love for two little adorable angels Buzz and Bugz…. I hope she is doing better now w.r.t acid reflux..

  6. awww….and more aww is what I’m doing right now staring at the screen and re-reading the letter to bugz baby 🙂

    both the girls are such darlings 🙂 and this makes their mamma super special,no? 🙂

    lol @ no accidents 😉 hihihihihhiii yeah you know I imagined 😉

    lots of love to my 3 girls!!!! can’t stop awww-ing even now 🙂

    1. Yes yes, I am special. What? No one ever calls me that these days so I have to grab every chance I get no? 🙂

      Thanks Scribby for all the aww awwing 🙂

  7. How can you write so beautifully? My heart just melts whenever I read your letters to the li’l darlings.

    Let Buzz enjoy all the attention now, for Bugz is gonna soon compete for the limelight. Lottsa kisses to the cute sisters.

    1. You are too sweet Seema. Thank you so much. Your comment made my day. And reading it again, made my day all over again. 🙂

      I can’t wait for the attention wars 😀

  8. Awwww! this is so so sweet Comfy 🙂 Accident eh? Then we can have one more say Budz cutie stories? 😉

    Muuah Muuah to both of them…

  9. I am not sure I read about Buzz growing up from being a tiny chuckling baby…always remember her from walking/running stage on this blog.

    So, this – my dear, is so special! 🙂

    The baby smell, the unlimited kissing sessions, the from-the-belly chuckling…awww Comfy, you inspire me to go have another 😀

    What brough the biggest smile though was ‘..I must have been one seriously cute baby’. Oh yes, no doubts 😉

    1. As if you need inspiration. You all just want to have another baby so are making me the scape goat. No no. You are on your own in this one 😀

      Yes, yes I must have been 😛

  10. On a serious note, it’s a tough thing actually for parents… to strike a balance and share equal love and care wid two kids or more… to be cautious at every step…be careful not to hurt the sentiments… and raise them to perfection! And with a doting mom like you…am sure you would do it so welll 🙂

  11. i could say a lot of things, but consider this : a few minutes ago, i was considering running away to some jungle(MINUS the baby) and living there. now i want another baby(yeah, like the cretin i have isn’t enough trouble :|)

    what lovely babies, Buzz and Bugz are! im all mush and have even planted two slurpy kisses much to proton’s disgust.

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