Changes big and small

Dear Buzz,

I was reading something while I was pregnant with you where the author who was in his late 50s wrote, ‘the only one who remembers my childhood now is my brother’. This single statement made such a huge impact on me. Almost then and there I decided that if it was within my power I would give you someone to share your childhood with, to build memories with, to reminisce the same with when your Paa and I are no more.

You were born soon after and your Paa and I faced the reality of a little human who was solely dependent on us but came with no instruction manual. We struggled to do our best with all the challenges you threw our way every few days. We loved you immensely but that did not mean that it was smooth sailing. There were endless days when you were sick, there were times when you went on hunger strike, there were sleepless nights (months) and those were the days when having another kid seemed out of question. But I kept going back to this statement and that was my one argument for having another kid that your Paa could not argue against.

While we were in India recently your cousin Maami asked me, ‘Why second kid?’ and all I said was, ‘I can’t imagine what I am going through right now without having Bhaiya around’. Your Maama and I are a team. I just had forgotten how strong a team we were till this year. With all that was going on we would seek each other through the crowd. I would look up to find your Maama looking at me. No words would be exchanged but we understood each other completely. We shouldered the pain together, we stood strong together, we held each other. And it reinforced my belief that having a second child was the right thing to do for us as a family.

Life as you knew it a few months ago has changed a lot. But you have been so amazing through it all. You are crazy about your little sister and would play with her non-stop if we let you. You would stay with her day in and day out if we did not put you to sleep or send you to daycare. You get scolded and told no more often now, not all toys that come home are for you, you don’t get the undivided attention that you used to but every time one of us ask, ‘baby kiske hei?’ you reply ‘mera’. Yes sweetheart the baby is yours first and foremost, you just have to wait for a little more time before you can start playing with her the way you want to.

You have your moments where you tell me, ‘no mumma, no baby’ when you want me all to yourself but they are few and far between. Till you get your share of one on one time with me, till you get to sit in my lap as long as you want to, till you have me to put you to bed at night you are happy and don’t throw a tantrum. And even when during our time if I have to go take care of Bugz you don’t throw a fit, rather follow along. Which means the three of us spend time together rather than the two of us and that is fine with you.

You got up crying last night because of a bad dream. You were crying and calling out to all of us, checking on us to make sure that we were all OK and Bugz was the second person on your list to check on. It warms my heart, gives me hope that the two of you will be a team with a bond strong enough to carry you through the highs and lows of life. I once got a birthday card for your Mama which went ‘Remember the mantra we lived by as kids, DON’T TELL MOM!’ and I can honestly say that no matter how frustrated I am at that moment but if this is the kind of bond the two of you share, you-two-against-us-the-parents, I would be the happiest Mom around.

But those are things of the future. For now the present is full of a lot of love and care and laughs and a few tears and there is nothing more I could have asked for. You have been amazing with the changes happening, smiling your smile, free with your hugs and filling our hearts with joy. You are still my little baby and I, the biased Maa, thing you are the bestest kid around. Even though I don’t get to spend as much time with you as I used to, I am crazy about your sweetheart. And as I try to balance things and do right by both you girls, you stay happy, stay healthy, stay you. Always!

Loads of love,
-Maa

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56 thoughts on “Changes big and small

  1. You write so wonderfully Comfy. Somehow, this post leaves me speechless and very teary eyed. God bless your family. Lots of hugs and kisses to Buzz for being so wonderful. Muah darling..

  2. Made me all teary eyed Comfy! Cant imagine what life would be without my sisters…
    God bless the lil ones and hope their bond grows stronger and lovelier by the day!!

  3. this post warmed my heart Comfy! siblings make the ‘bestest’ of company with all the fights, hugs, tears and arguments.. i don’t know how life would be for me if i did not have a sis!

  4. God bless you Comfy 🙂
    You know I strongly beielve this that one shud have a sister or brother for sure , I had and all that things we got up to ..
    it is true that parents dont know its the sibling who remember the childhood Very true…

    Both the little ones will be Great and they are going ot love it once they grow up haveing each other and lovely parents as you 🙂

    you know reminded me of my childhood and oh yes DONT TELL MUM and DAD tooo 🙂

  5. ‘‘the only one who remembers my childhood now is my brother’ – Never thought of having a sibling in that way. Thank you.

    You have made me very thoughtful today…and warm inside.

    Bless the two little sisters! They’ll grow up just as you hoped Comfy, have no doubt 🙂

  6. lovely post Comfy.. why do have to make me sniff on a Friday night.. this is one fear I always have for Adi.. she might end up not having a close companion to share as she grows 😦 the one that i enjoyed with my bro similar to you… my bro tells me always “no matter what happens in your life always remember that am here for you”.. we don’t judge each other.. we were always compared to those filmy bro-sis relationships by our close friends n relations till date…

    am very happy for Buzz and Bugz.. may the sisters rule this world.. 🙂 hugs to you and the lil ones..

  7. Beautiful post Comfy, I have tears in my eyes.. You are such a darling, and so are your cute little daughters.. I have two sisters and it was so much fun growing up with sisters – I wouldn’t want it any other way.. The fights, the love, the bonds, the sharing and caring, and of course the secrets.. You will have your hands full the next few years… God bless all of you.. and lots of love and hugs to the cute li’l kids! 🙂
    P.S. You will curse yourself when they play their ‘don’t tell mom’ pranks!! 😛 😉

  8. sister bonding! You know there are several reasons in my head for having a second one but this one that you’ve presented here has added more confidence to my decision !

    Buzz is growing up…and how! With parents like you around these two girls are going to get the best of values,I’m telling you 🙂

    Good luck Buzz and Scribby massi loved you the best 🙂

  9. I can totally relate to what you’re saying. I’m a big sucker for reminiscing family stories, and when Vijesh looks totally blank when I tell him of a weird, but important to me episode from my childhood days, im v. glad that theres always the godzilla to exactly understand what im saying. vijesh who is a single child always tells me that we should have kids in even numbers(four???!)

    ps : i’ll show this post to you the day you whine to us that the girls are talking hush-hush secrets and driving you and D mad 😛

    1. Vijesh’s comment reminds me of a talk with a developer friend of mine. His logic was that everyone should have kids as power of two so that the *bits* can be set correctly 😀

  10. Aww aww and aww. I remember you telling me this the other day and it is as beautiful reading it 🙂

    One thing though – the rule is always ‘don’t tell mom’. Who spoke about dad? For all you know, D might join their gang 😀 I know many of my uncles did 😉

    1. Ms Rays let me tell you a parents secret: They ALWAYS talk to each other. So smart parents have one parent join the gang. That way they always know every thing.

      So now you know. Don’t tell the kids OK :mrgreen:

  11. Awww… its beautiful! Made me miss my sis all the more!
    we have such a strong bond (touchwood!) so despite any differences, we are always there for each other! Fiercely protective, possessive, interfering… siblings rock! 😀

  12. It’s so great you gave Buzz a companion…I believe children with sibling learn a lot…not just about sharing and togetherness….they just learn to love a lot more and there’s nothing better than 2 sisters.
    This post reminded me of my sis…I miss having her around and can only pray that Buzz and Bugz grow up to the best friends for life 🙂

  13. Can totally see this. When it was my little sister and the guy she wanted to marry, I remember chatting with her from my bathroom ‘coz mom was around in the living room and had no idea what was going on:) Now I see occasional glimpses of sibling camaraderie and love between my two monsters in the rare moments when they aren’t bickering, fighting or arguing 🙂

    1. What are you talking about Sands? Rare moments? And what about all the time they experiment and cook together? Your posts are so full of their love for each other 🙂

  14. Came here via R’s Mom’s.

    I had read somewhere that a sibling is the best gift that you can give your child. How true! Loved your post. God bless Buzz and bugz.

    Will be frequenting here…

  15. Comfy – i have been re-reading this post since you posted it and am overwhelmed. This is so beautiful. I have no words to say but i know this post is going to stay with me for long 🙂

    Loved loved it 🙂

  16. That was beautiful, Comfy! I missed reading about Bugz’ arrival! Congratulations to all of you!

    Two sisters are the best combination(in my mind at least ) I used to joke that if I knew that I would have a girl the second time round, I would have a baby right now 🙂 Buzz and Bugz will have a lovely bond, am sure!

    1. Thanks Smitha.

      I really wanted one girl that is why the second time around I was not too worried. But two girls are indeed the best. I can’t wait for them to grow old together 🙂

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