There are about 8 or so guys from D’s college/class who work and stay in the area, which means we have a big and strong social circle. We had all gotten together at someone’s place for lunch and talks about college and work and the economy and the latest gadgets was going on, as always.
Now we are all at a point in life that everyone has kids or is having kids. It being post lunch, most of us were also juggling cranky kids, kids ready for nap and putting kids down for a nap, which of course moved the conversation to kids. The girls got talking about how it would be nice to get a break for a day or two to just be us, the way we used to be before the kids came along. Things snowballed from there to dreaming of a two day girls only trip.
One of the guys suggested why only dream about it? Why not go, it was after all only for a couple of nights? The rest of the guys promptly supported the idea with all of them stating that it was no big deal taking care of their respective kids for 2 nights and days.
This had the guys excited that they could do the same. It would be like being back in college. Just the guys. Excited plans started being made, on where they should go and what all they would do.
Then came arguments against it all. Started with one girl not wanting her husband to go on such a trip and a few more agreed. When asked for reasons why, the answer was, who knows what all the guys would get in to. They would drink like crazy. And oh what if the guys decide to go to a gentlemen’s club?
There was no talking the girls out. And the plan eventually fizzled out. No guys trip and no girls trip. This was almost a year back.
This past weekend the guys got together at night for dinner and poker. Over dinner they started talking about heading to a club instead of playing poker. From where it moved to a few guys saying they would only go if all the guys promised not to tell any of the girls. When questioned why they said, ‘if even one girl knows the whole thing is sure to come out as part of some conversation and then there would be hell to pay for them’. Post lot of talks and leg pulling they went on to drink a glass or two of wine and play poker.
I was floored both the times, because I don’t think in these terms. For me it is a matter of trust. I trust my husband completely. I trust him to conduct himself correctly. I trust him to do the right thing. Even if D was to go to a gentlemen’s club, he knows what he can and cannot do. He knows what would offend me and where to draw a line. And I would like to believe that because I don’t put such stipulations on him is the reason why he comes back and tells me these things. I would like to believe that because I don’t make a big deal about these things is why he does not hide things from me.
Maybe I am wrong but I have a few basic questions for all the girls who don’t like their boyfriends/husbands talking to other women or put a limit to how many drinks they can have on any given day or keep an eagle eye on what they do and where they go – How do you know they are not doing any of what you so think they are capable of when you head to India for your 2 month yearly trip, or when they go out of town on business? When you expect complete and total freedom and don’t like your husband to ask any questions on your whereabouts, why do you not return the same courtesy? When your husband has never given any reason for you to doubt him, why do you doubt him? Oh and if your answer is, because guys will always be guys, why are you even with this guy?
As I said before, for me trust is the key. And I trust D totally and completely. Till he gives me a reason to otherwise, I am going to continue to trust.
Am I completely stoned here? Am I missing something? What do you guys think?