– Life goes on:
   For others and for that matter even for you. Just because it seems to be at a standstill for you does not mean you have to get upset at other people’s smiles and laughs.

– Everyone has their own problems:
   Just because their issues seem so much smaller than your’s does not mean they don’t have the right to crib about them. You were/will be on the other side of the fence someday.

– Don’t expect much:
   Everyone has their way of helping. If their way of helping does not match your expectation it is your problem really, they are doing what they think is right.

– What ifs don’t help:
   No matter how many times you play things in your mind and how many different scenarios you dream up, the past can’t be changed. All you end up doing in hurting some more.

– Tears are there for a reason:
   Sometimes it is OK to let go and have a good cry. It eases the weight on you a little. You don’t have to be strong all the time.

– Don’t seclude yourself:
   Talking to people about normal day to day things, doing normal day to day things makes the day go past with much more ease. Break your shell and talk more, do more.

– Grief makes others uncomfortable:
   Besides saying sorry, we as humans are at a loss at things to say or do when faced with grief. You have always struggled with the right words and now you see others struggle with them. You felt helpless then, you feel helpless now.

– Have an ignore button:
  No matter how much you don’t want it, no matter how much you don’t care for it: unasked for, seemingly well-meaning, unwanted advice keeps coming. Getting upset will get you nothing. Make your ignore button extra strong.

– Friends are a blessing:
  They care, they show, they hold on and carry you through the hard times. Be a good friend in return.

– Family is the ultimate fall back:
  They know you inside out. They know when to push you and when to take a step back. Their love holds you strong, not letting you fall no matter what. Reach out and hold them in turn.

19 thoughts on “Relearning

  1. What you say is true. Har kissi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta… Mukammal banana padta hai..
    Each one has their own way. I had a fight with a friend who sent me a ticket to go on a break just after.. I felt bad but now I understand he just wanted me to cheer up and look beyond…
    You are right everyone has different ways..
    You take care comfy.. And take care of others around you too…

  2. u really do hit bang on all these emotions that i have been going through! a truly insightful post!
    and just in case u are going thru any, *hugggzzz* im sure u can do with them :))

  3. You are so right Comfy especially with how people don’t really know how to react/interact with someone who is grieving. I’ve always wondered that about human beings…why it is so hard to talk about it. I’m probably guilty of it too…but the funny thing is I can talk about it when it is a client grieving but for some reason I feel awkward when it is someone else I encounter. Take care Comfy…

  4. many many hugs Comfy… as you have jotted this down for yourself this will sure help a lot of others too.. there is so much to learn from this.. hugs again dear..

  5. Yes. Yes. Yes and Yes – on each one of them Comfy.

    We all know them, but do not dare to put them into words to stare back at us.

    Nicely put.

    [ Big Big Hugs to you…am really feeling helpless as you mentioned. Did you get the email?]

  6. Such a simple and beautiful post Comfy. You are right about each of the things you have mentioned, I nodded all along.
    Hugs to you dear girl!

  7. I know this feeling all too well, I think you have nailed everyone of those situations faced by anybody who has lost some one very close to them. Crying your heart out does make you feel lighter for a while…Keep taking to your family often, you can all draw strength from each other.b,cos nothing can take the pain away, it can help distract you.

  8. These are great life lessons. It’s the ways of the world…you have lots of people with you in good times but in the not so good times only and only your family will stand by you.
    I think learning to be weak….letting yourself cry is a huge lesson. It just let you break away from the chains and grief. Thanks for sharing this.

  9. I’m amazed that you’ve been able to think so clearly in the midst of your situation Comfy! Thanks for writing this down…
    Stay strong..take care..

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