I sit all day long in the small corner she has designated as mine, while she rolls around on the rest of the king size bed. Every time I so much as design to shift and make a little more space for myself, she sticks to me as glue ensuring I don’t encroach on her space. Both of us guard our respective space, not ready to give even a millimeter more (well I can’t give anymore even if I want to, Newton and his gravity you see would take over and pull my backside to the floor).
I spend the day in terror, not eating, not even moving. Even dreading restroom breaks. What if she starts to cry or horror of horror decides to come visit the loo with me. Frozen in my miniscule space I sit. But even that is not enough, I have to sooth and play nice to unreasonable tears and sleep drenched cries of ‘Mumma’ every other minute. The uncertainty of when the next wave will hit keeps my nerves taunts at all times.
Sound of the key turning inside the lock, the door opening and then closing, registers even in sleep.
Aaaa daaa nini
as she bounces up, scrambles off the bed and swiftly makes her way down the stairs.
Forgotten upstairs by one and not remembered by the other, I listen to the joyous greeting and the non-stop chatter.
She has so much to say?? Why was all the talk missing while I was around?? Why was I the designated tear handler?? Does he even understand what she says?? Well who does?? Only her..if that..
Mission tea making is in progress, I can tell from the clang of the pan on the stove. And from her running commentary.
Tea made, he wants to drink it in peace. She wants her milk. Suddenly Maa, forgotten in the mutual admiration society of two, becomes the most important person as two pair of legs head upstairs.
As we both sit with our respective laptops and the click click of the keys fills the room, she sleeps horizontally between the two of us. Screaming for the one who is not soothing her, every time she wakes up. When she has both of ours undivided attention, and she wakes up next, out comes calls for
as the parents look at each other in bewilderment.
Now at this very moment the silver lining for me is that, he has the exact same amount of space on the giant bed as I do. And he hangs on to his precarious sitting position the exact same way I do. In this at least we are treated as equals.
Parenthood and its joys and things we derive pleasure from. 😀