Growing up

Dear Buzz,

Last night, you were too tired so you climbed on to my lap, lay down and looked at me with sleep filled, half closed eyes. And all of a sudden I was taken back to the time when you were a few months old. You used to look at me the exact same way, while I would try to get in as much milk in you as I could, so that you could sleep on a full stomach. Right that moment, I felt my heart pinch a little. When had my little baby grown in to a toddler? When did that sleep drenched, intense gaze go away from looking at me to looking elsewhere? When did I get so engrossed in sleep training you, that I forgot to hold you just before your sleep overtook you? And I started remembering little things that you used to do, but don’t anymore. 

Like the way you used to be so happy when we used to go for a drive at night. All the lights had you gurgling with excitement. You would not stop turning your head this way and that till exhausted sleep took over. Now night lights are a norm for you. You look but don’t find anything particularly exciting, unless it is a billboard with lights and works.

Like the way driving in the car was like a sleep inducer for you. You could sleep within 10 mins of the car being in motion and you would not even get up for a feed for hours at end. Now car rides are a time for screaming and babbling for you. You look around, point at something or the other, pull your shoes. But sleep is not part of the deal, even if it’s way past your bedtime.

Like the time when you used to lay down in one place, kicking your legs, spinning in circles, licking your toes, batting your hands. But I could walk out for five minutes and come back to find you in the same spot. Now I can’t get up to go somewhere and not have you run there before me. No place is safe. The bathroom, the stairs, the bed. You are all over. Never still.

Like when you used to pull on the lever of some of your toys my mistake and would be pleasantly surprised when the music started playing. Now you know which button to press to play the music. And the said music playing does not have much of an effect. It is mostly just a byproduct of the action you performed. Not of consequence.

Like when I used to make a cradle of my hands and you fit in perfectly, head to toe. Now I can’t even hold you in the cradle of my hand. You come almost up to my head level if I am sitting down on the floor. You want to be picked up and help so that you can look around, that is if you want to be held. Else you want to be running around on your own.

I am not saying that I am upset that you are growing up, but once in a while something gets to me and then I yearn for those small things of days past. I wish I could get some of those moments mixed with the current going ons. I know I am being an emotional fool, but Maa has that prerogative, sweetheart. Maa is and can be and is totally excused from being  a total fool about you. Maa is allowed to walk down memory lane and feel nostalgic at how quickly you are growing up and what all you are leaving behind. Just don’t grow so much, for anytime soon, that you are no more Maamaa’s little girl. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay you always.

Loads of Love,
-Maa

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66 thoughts on “Growing up

    1. I know I am repeating myself, but…

      awww awww awww
      thats too sweet 🙂

      kisses on the forehead to Buzz :*

      I remember my grandma saying always – ‘it just seems like yesterday when you’d fit completely in my cuddle and fall asleep’ and I’d put up the ‘I am a big girl’ act and mock her 🙂

  1. ohhh can you imagine soon buzz will start liking pink rubber bands and barbie dolls and sunshades in the shape of butterflies…oh now m soo excited that Buzz is growing up 🙂 hugs to maa n buzz

  2. Awww! *Sigh* So.Cute.

    And then The Dude asks me why my maternal feelings are on such a high, it’s posts like these I tell you! 😀

    Hugs to baby Buzz!

  3. Hey! Seems I’ve missed out on a lot eh? You describe it so well here it seems to me to be living in the moment first hand! 🙂

  4. Boohoohoo I want a a baby 😛
    Cn I baby-sit here plssssss …. all those hugs and kisses r nothing for Buzz .. bcoz she is so sweet 🙂 Some more truckloads for u and some for Mumma too bcoz she tells us all these lovely things abt u 🙂

    1. See Comfy, didn’t I tell you? You make everyone want to have babies 😛
      If there’s a sudden babies’ population explosion in the blog-world, you are responsible for it 😛 😛

  5. awwwww. many many kisses to that little sweetheart. all these posts about her makes my day 🙂 Love reading about the little things she does. 🙂

    And many many hugs to you Comfy!

  6. I feel short of words always on such posts Comfy. Can’t say something substantial. My bad. 😦
    All I say is very heartfelt and very warm. Buzz is gonna cherish all these letters written by you. 🙂

    1. That means a lot to me Misty.. so don’t feel bad.. I was like you for most parts..at a loss for words when I read posts by Mommy bloggers..before Buzz was born to I do understand.

      Thank You for everything 🙂

  7. Phir se rula diya Comfy..

    was looking at some old pics of chotu and thinking where did the kid in the pics go and then i read this post and all the tears come rushing..

    When Buzz grows up enough to read and understand letters, she is going to be damn proud of her doting mom..

    Lovely post!

    1. Thank You AJCL..you probably understand better than most what I wrote about here. Sometimes I get too upset about the baby who has changed so much.

      I hope Buzz likes and gets a part of what I am writing to write here when she grows up.

  8. Such a loving and heart warming post Comfy…..Kids will grow up…the grown ups are going to get old….different phases of circle of life ….Let us enjoy each phase upto its fullest

    Hugs n hugs for sweet growing up Buzzu…..

    Cheers

  9. yups, she is growing too fast 😦

    But then, when she does grow up, you can still talk about baby buzz to any of us and we’ll talk about how she loved her toys and your badge, how she could ruin a carpet, how she can make you forget the horror of breaking a table’s glass 😀

    Buzz might walk away in disgust though 😀

    1. I am sure she will..just like we did with our Moms. I understand her a lot better since I became a mom 🙂

      Thank You for the offer to talk to you about her growing up days..You have to sooooo listen to me all the time now 😛 😛

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